Instead of importing other people’s spiritual success stories, I would find it more natural for us all to search for the ways that God has ordained for each one of us to put into practice in our own time and place what we feel He has revealed to us. Hummm….
Some of this is a crutch: hiding fear. We may leap but it wont be out of faith. The core followers of Christ have found that following Him is not about having sufficient academic and statistical proof before they act…rather, it is about having the faithful and obedient desire to follow God’s Word and do what He said, no matter what, when, where, or who has gone before.
“God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble.”
This is a verse that my little sister wrote out for me on a piece of cardboard before I left home. It has been sitting on my desk since I got to Gospel For Asia but it was only today – more than a month later – when I realized that this is what God has been teaching me for the whole time I’ve been here. Whenever I mess up or feel homesick, God is with me. I think that He has let me mess up so much while I’m here simply so I will rely on Him and remember that I am here for His glory – not because I am qualified. He is always so near to me. I am learning to listen to His voice and to accept His grace and peace.
His grace is His loving favor even when we continually mess up. He cares for me so much that he made a way for my sins to be forgiven. When I would be guilty before His throne – unable to have a relationship with Him – doomed to eternal hell, He sent a sacrifice. His son died for me that I might stand before him even with my imperfections. He can no longer see that I am not perfect.
Matt said in class this week that often we go before God and ask Him “How can You love me when I have done this sin?” He said that God just looks at us and says “Why are you bringing that up again? I distinctly remember forgetting that.” Our God keeps no record of our wrongs or our shortcomings. He only wants us to be able to live life to the fullest through being made into the likeness of His Son.
It’s been a busy few months! Between School of Discipleship graduation, a support trip back home, training for my new job, and new staff classes just beginning, I have definitely been learning a lot about dependence on the Lord.
I find my self becoming easily stressed out and overwhelmed when I have so many things going on that I fail to even look to God for any help or answers. I tend to start becoming so busy that I no longer even make time for daily devotions to seek the Lord and look for His hand in these things.
I realized this is where I was a little over a month ago as I sat listening to a sermon about spiritual maturity. The basic message was that when we fail, the main sign of spiritual maturity is to run TO the Lord and the main sign of spiritual immaturity is to run AWAY from Him. I was able to fairly easily recognize myself in the latter. That realization was huge for me because it brought me running back to the Lord and rediscovering the rest that He offers.
So rather than trying to balance a thousand things during the day and then just coming back to the apartment to veg and watch TV, I am now striving to go before the Lord with my free time and be filled with His peace that He truly is sovereign and all these things I am worried about and dealing with are under His control. I like that.
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