Jan 17, 2011
“Oh no!” Was the cry that came from my lips when I fumbled with my phone. I finally realized that it was in my pocket and frantically tried to answer the call. Sadly, I was too late. My gloved hands had not opened the slippery phone quickly enough.
To make the matter worse it was my sister. Having her live so far away is a challenge. I can’t call her – she can only call me – which makes me feel awful every time I don’t get to my phone. But why tonight of all nights? I’ve been hoping for a call before I leave for Asia next Saturday. One more pep talk and encouragement before flying across the ocean.This leads to the question… “why?”
“Why, Lord, did I not make it fast enough? Why had I just put my gloves on? Why had I just changed the ringtone? Why, why why?” I find that I become very self-centered very quickly. It is not my intent to be always thinking of myself – but I do it so naturally.
When asking ‘why’, He basically gave me the answer “why not?” After all, He is in control. He leads and directs our lives. It is not that He wants to punish me for something by letting me miss my sister’s phone call, just that He will allow it to build character. At the moment I am learning to be joyful in everything. Giving thanks evermore. After all, that is the will of Christ Jesus for you and for me. He just wants us to trust Him. He wants our wills to bend towards His. I am learning that. It’s not always easy and it’s not always fun but the one thing I’ve always found it to be is freeing. When you let Christ be the Master of your mind, life, and soul, you will only seek to see His heart in whatever it is that you are going through. The principals of giving thanks and of surrendering our questions and wonderings to His sovereignty are things that can be used wherever and whenever. If you really rely on Him and trust that His plan is better than yours, life is one adventure after another. You no longer have to worry about what, when, how, who… just listen to the Father and do nothing but what He tells you to do.
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Nov 23, 2010
While I was out support raising, I was SO curious to find out what I would be doing when I got back to Gospel for Asia. Right up to when I applied for my apartment, I had no idea what I would be doing. However, I couldn’t have asked for a better place to be placed. God is good! I’m am working in the media department. I helped out there a little bit when I was in the School of Discipleship.
At the moment, I am learning how to use a Mac, work in After Effects and Final Cut Express. Other than using a Mac, I’d say I love my job! Although I will miss the Volunteer department , I am soooo excited to see how God uses me in this area of the ministry, and I get to do what I love each and every day!
I’m so blessed because this job is an opportunity I had been waiting and praying for for a long time, and now God’s placed me in the exact place I wanted to be!
GOD IS GOOD! AND GOD IS FAITHFUL TO PROVIDE!! 🙂
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Nov 18, 2010
I’ve been learning a lot lately about being the bride of Christ. And a lot about trusting God–fully and implicitely. Because you shouldn’t marry someone unless you trust them completely in every area, right? 🙂 That was always my assumption anyway.
But that assumption was challenged by a comment from Charlotte Lucas in the movie Pride and Prejudice: “He does not know her character as we do. . .but there is plenty of time for us to get to know him after they’re married.” The idea, in a nutshell, was that since Jane Bennett and Charles Bingley were well acquainted enough to trust each other on a superficial level (and since they were obviously in love), they should go ahead and tie the knot because, after all, they will get to know each other better after they are married. Of course, the story is set in a time when marriage was a much higher priority on everyone’s agenda, so sometimes people got married for less chivalrous ideas than love and romance, but still. . .it seems a logical plan of action, as long as you take into consideration that any relationship founded mostly on emotions is bound to be tested at some point. There comes a time when you have to trust each other’s character when the emotions aren’t there.
I’ve been struggling with learning to trust God well enough not to question His ways. I’m trying to learn to trust God’s character, even when it seems like what He’s allowing me to go through could hardly be an expression of His love. To trust that He really is working all things for my good, even when I can’t possibly see what that good might be. I know that a certain level of blind faith is involved, but I also want to have something to base that trust on. And hearing that quote made me see a parallel: when I initially began my relationship with God, all I needed to know was that He loved me SO MUCH, and that He could save me when I could not save myself. Essentially, God knows that I need to trust His love first of all, and then learn to trust His character as I get to know Him better.
As I was journaling and praying, trying to make sense in my mind what exactly I was asking from God, I felt silly asking the God of the universe to prove Himself before I could trust Him; but I feel that trust, by definition, is something to be earned, not just given. And it seemed as if Jesus read my heart and sent me the answer I was looking for–in an entry from My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers:
“God wants you to understand that it is a life of faith, not a life of emotional enjoyment of His blessings. Faith by its very nature must be tested and tried. And the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God’s character must be proven as trustworthy in our own minds. Faith, as the Bible teaches it, is faith in God coming against everything that contradicts Him–a faith that says, ‘I will remain true to God’s character whatever He may do.’ The highest and the greatest expression of faith in the whole Bible is–‘Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him’ (Job 13:15).
So, simply believing in God is easy. The difficulty in trusting God lies in when I am waiting for His character to be proven trustworthy, when I can’t see what He’s accomplishing through my hard times. And that’s when I have to remember that He does love me, so much. And I can rest and put my trust in His love.
“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.” ~Psalm 13:5-6
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Nov 13, 2010
The students and alumni got to meet Elisabeth Elliot.
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Oct 16, 2010
A couple days ago the Lord taught me something really cool. As a part of the GFA home team we are on a rotation to clean bathrooms. (Glamorous right?) So, today as I was cleaning the bathroom and checking things off of the list, I was praying through some struggles. The end my prayer was just “I want to be more and more like Jesus. I want to be more and more like Him.” So I was almost finished with my job and was polishing the wooden door, when Keith, one of the core staff members at GFA stopped to say thank you. He thanked me for doing the job all the way and making sure that everything got done right. I’m thinking, “Everything done right? If only you knew.”
He said that what I was doing indirectly made him look good since he is in charge of building and grounds upkeep. When K.P. looks at things he would say “Wow, Keith’s doing a good job.”
“What? Excuse me, I’m the one doing this work. Why should he get the credit?”
It made me think, what if we all did things just to give our Father the credit? He’s the boss. If we did things just so that he’d get the praise, life would be so much better. It wouldn’t be a competition to do more because no one would know that you did it in the first place. It’d just be something that God did.
So, what if we did things all the way all the time? Not just on the outside where people can see it, like this door; but sweeping next to the garbage can and dusting the corners? What if we made sure Christ got the credit for that too?
What is there in your life that you are doing half way? Is it trying to make money – or is it your Bible study? Which one is it that Christ is getting credit for? What would you change if you knew everything you were doing in life went into His account and not yours? If everything you did showed up on Jesus’ background check, would you want to hire him?
So that’s what Christ taught me as I was cleaning the bathroom – that I need to be doing things for Him because everything I do is going on His account.
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