Aug 8, 2011
When I prepared to pack my bags for this adventurous world of Carrollton, Texas and Gospel For Asia, I had two rather small minded objectives:
1. I would finally catch up on my books (of which I brought a few).
2. I would finally escape from the pressing issues back home.
Today, as I write this, I can say that I have not been able to pick up any of the books I brought with me and not only am I going back to the issues I left, I am going to have to face them.
All of that to say, my expectations for this “1 month internship” were completely shattered.
And then there’s all this praying.
I have had to realize that the staff and students here pray CONSTANTLY. I mean, incredibly consistantly. It doesn’t matter whether they want to or not, though, because its rather necessary.
I dont think that I expected anything more or anything less. I think I just didn’t expect any of it.
But oh, what joy it has been to have my expectations of people and experiences completely destroyed because really, I am the only one who is hindered by them.
So I go into the deep places of my mind and of my heart and I see that all of these expectations, or lack there of, were made to awaken me from a sleep that I had not known I was overcome with.
But as I wake, I am entrusted with the knowledge of my ability to speak to God constantly. Without ceasing.
And I know in my heart that all this praying was what I should have been doing all along.
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Jul 26, 2011
Congratulations to the Students that Graduated Today!
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Jul 25, 2011
“Only fear the Lord, and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider how great things He hath done for you.”
This has been my favorite Bible verse for several years. It’s found in 1 Samuel 12:24. This verse has always encouraged me to do my best in serving the Lord. How can I serve Him with anything less than all my heart when He has done such great things for me?
Well, about a year and a half ago I found another verse that uses the same wording, Mark 5:19. Jesus has just healed a man who was possessed by a legion of demons. The man, being set free, sat at the feet of Jesus, the Bible says, “clothed and in his right mind”. His neighbors saw this and were afraid – they begged Jesus to leave their coasts.
Well, this man wasn’t about to let Jesus leave without him! He wanted to follow Jesus and be a disciple. He was free and could now go about the Lord’s work. As Jesus was entering into the boat the mat who was set free, followed after Him and begged to be allowed to go with Him.
“However, Jesus suffered him not but said unto him, ‘Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee and hath had compassion on thee.'” – Mark 5:19
And that’s the last word on this man. There’s never another mention of him.
Throughout this year I’ve thought about that verse a lot. Go home and tell your friends how great things the Lord has done for you and hath had compassion on you. I’m excited to say that right now that’s exactly what the Lord is giving me the opportunity to do. I’m finishing up my School of Discipleship year very soon and when I’m done at Gospel For Asia I get to go home and tell all of my family, friends, and supporters what great things the Lord has done for me! I have the opportunity to tell people how great our God is and to encourage them.
So, what ever did happen to the man Jesus sent? The Bible doesn’t tell us – but I’m pretty sure that God did great things through him and that he was unstoppable.
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Jul 15, 2011
I’ve been having a really tough week and a half. A week ago I became horribly discouraged and worried. I couldn’t pin point anything that was wrong, so I didn’t know what to blame it on. When I was asked this past weekend if I was doing okay I replied that the biggest thing that was wrong and what was bothering me is that I was no longer hearing the Lord’s voice. I had stopped seeking just Him. I was seeking Him + His will for my life, Him + peace, Him + joy, but not just Him.
I decided during the weekend that I would take time to pray and to seek God. I asked Him to break me and to make me more like Him. I asked to hear His voice yet again. I prayed that night for quite a while and there was no answer. The next night I cried out to God just to speak to me. It didn’t have to be huge, it didn’t have to be nice; I just wanted to hear His voice.
Then, clearer than I’ve ever heard the Lord speak to me, His voice was there in my head. I sat straight up as He said, “I am with you in your pain. In your pain you will know Me”.
Pain? What pain?
You might be as curious as I was wondering what this pain was. For the next few days I was looking around for what was going to happen. I was waiting for a car crash, or wondering if I was going to be mugged. I was clueless but sure that if I would have Him with me – I was going to look forward to it.
Well yesterday I was going about my day when suddenly the Lord grabbed me and showed me an area of my life that was completely off track. I was confronted with a choice. Would I change – or would I stay where I was at and defend my self?
The choice really was a no brainer – why stay the same when we can change and become like Christ?
So, I realized that God wasn’t there to give me physical pain and help get me through it. He knew that I was going to have to deal with things for these few days. There have been multiple things – some good, some bad – that have happened over the past 30 or so hours. I am drained and battle weary. But may I tell you that God is faithful? He cares about you and He cares about me way too much to let us stay the same.
One prayer I can guarantee that the Lord will answer is if you ask Him to break you and make you humble. That’s His desire for you and He will be so excited if you are ready to work with Him in those areas. I know He answered my prayer quick.
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Jul 6, 2011
Last week, I went to the Christian bookstore and God told me to buy a Bible. I was a little surprised, but glad to do it. Let me explain…
I grew up being taught from the Bible in my home, sunday school, church, and even grade school (I was home schooled). I memorized complete chapters of the Bible. I won awards for how many Bible verses I could regurgitate. Actually, I have even been given a Bible or two for winning the Bible memory verse competition!
The Bible I won in that competition was one of many that I’ve accumulated. I got my first Bible from my parents at age 6. I got another at age 9 from my grandparents. At some point, I picked up the small, handy New Testament from church “to carry around.” I got one from my brother. And I think one from my sister too! And of course, the “grown-up Bible (aka the Bible without the pictures!)” when I was 14. And the list goes on…I can’t even remember how I got all of my Bibles, but I literally have a drawer full of them.
Funny thing…for all the Bibles I had at my disposal, I never read any of them. Not seriously. I read the Bible because my mother told me to and to disobey was unthinkable. I read the Bible at church when the preacher told us to read along. Every blue moon, I read the Bible (on my own!) because I knew that saved people were supposed to. I never once read it because I wanted to, or because it gave me life, or spoke to me, or comforted me. It simply didn’t mean that much to me…until recently.
In February of this year, I read through The Pursuit of God by A.W.Tozar. It was reading through the chapter on the Word of God that I realized that I needed to know what was actually in the Bible. It dawned on me that the Bible is alive! It really is the living Word of God! It lives because He lives and nothing about it has become old, lifeless, or irrelevant since it was put on paper! It finally made sense.
While I was growing up, I had this irrational fear that if I sat down to read the Bible, I wouldn’t know what to read. And rather than ask God to open my heart and mind to any and all of His Word, I didn’t do it all (if i didn’t have to). After reading Tozar, I began praying that God would give me a stong hunger to read the Bible and apply it’s truths to my life. And, it’s working! I actually want to read the Bible now, and that has never been the case for me.
The fact that God told me to buy a Bible last week was pretty significant for me. I have a drawer full of them, but that was the first time in my life that I bought my own…and I was thrilled!
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