Tears of Joy

I read Romans 1:16

“For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Chris for it is the gift of salvation to all who believe . . .”!

Then I look at the two guys in the brochure I’m looking at and just cried. They aren’t ashamed, and yet they are just normal guys and gals willing to go wherever and face hardship, beatings, and possibly death! It’s all God working in them.

It just reminds me to continue to pray for them, and also look to them as an example of self-sacrifice!

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All Access Pass

The other day I had a prominent US pastor call into GFA.  I got so excited  because I really respect his life and heart for God. I was telling my friends, “Guess who I just talked to” and they were like “No way” and I was like “Yeah ” (Ha !I sound like a teen from CA).

I got to thinking about it later and how often do I genuinely get excited about going into the presence of God. I mean I get to talk to Him every single day and He is after all-GOD King and Creator of this entire Universe, the one who gave His His only Son for me.

So yeah, there are great men and women out there who serve the Lord, they should have our respect-But our Praise should go to God alone.


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Deja Vu

For the past 6 months I have been asking God, “What do you want me to do after I graduate from the School of Discipleship?”

In a way it feels like Deja Vu- Back when I was 18 and graduating from high school I knew one thing, no 18 year old is at all equip to decide what their whole future is supposed to be. So I  asked God a similar question to the one I posed 6 months back “What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?”

His answer to me was “Wait”

His most recent answer has been a little different “Be still and know that I am God”  (Psalm 46:10) and you know what, just like that first time, I am so at peace with His answer.

That 1st period of waiting lasted 2 years and I honestly don’t know how long this next period of waitng will be, but I know that God is going to use it!

I would so appreciate your prayers

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Better than a Hallelujah….

This is a Song that has really blessed my heart. I thought I would share it with you!

Better Than a Hallelujah
Amy Grant

God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

God loves a drunkard’s cry
A soldier’s plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our misery
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Better than a hallelujah

The woman holding on for life
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a hallelujah sometimes

Tears of shame for what’s been done
The silence when the words won’t come
Are better than a hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our misery
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
the honest cries of breaking hearts
Better than a hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing
Better than a choir singing out, singing out

We pour out our misery
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
the honest cries of breaking hearts
Better than a hallelujah

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Discouragement Is On The Run!

Today I woke up feeling very discouraged. It seemed as though everything that could go wrong, was going wrong. Not to mention that I hadn’t gotten a ton of restful sleep that night. I got to the office, knowing that this feeling of mine was just an attack of the enemy trying to derail me from all that God is doing in my life and through my life. When I got to my desk, the first thing I did after logging into my outlook, is send an email to my house mates and mentor asking that they pray for me.

Not long after that I got emails back from everyone, and they each were encouraging.  Praise God for people that I can go to when I’m hurting, and they can pray for me and help me turn away from my self-centeredness and turn my focus back to God where it belongs. This is how the body of believers is supposed to act.  Continually lifting each other up in prayer and not discouraging one another through silly bickering that doesn’t effect eternity at all, but distracts us from fulfilling all that God is calling us to do.

One of the emails I got,  encouraged me to make a list of all the things God has been faithful in specifically, and of all the praises I can think of. So that is what I’m going to do next.  If you want, you can read them below, but if not, that’s perfectly fine. I’m going to make the list below so that I can always go back to it if I need to and I can also be encouraging to others who might be feeling the same as me today.

– God has given me another day in Him to reach the world for eternity

– God has healed me from all of the wounds of my past

– God is faithfully providing the support that I need so I can come back on staff

– My mom gave me a car for when I’m back on staff

– My brother is growing and maturing in the Lord

– God is watching out for all of my loved ones, a task that I could never do as well as Him.

– God is giving me the opportunity to reach the lost in the way I’ve always dreamed of

– He has faithfully healed me from all of my illnesses.

– He is the ONLY one that knows my thoughts better than myself. Thank goodness.

-He loves ME unconditionally!

There are many more where that came from, but even just focusing on the ones above, I’m feeling so much better. Praise God!

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Eyes Wide Shut

It’s ridiculous.

I am still struggling with this “transparent” idea about living honestly in front of people. We had all-night-prayer last friday and I found myself zoning around 1 am. One of my friends was praying and I was totally blanking on whatever they were saying and just gazing into the nothingness outside. A few seconds of this and I notice someone glance over at me and instantly I squeeze shut my eyes and put on a very “spiritual” look that resembles the most passionate of prayer-warriors and begin to mumble “mhms” and “yes Lord” in agreement with my friends prayer.

Bit pathetic? You bet, and its not like this was a one time thing either. I am always finding myself doing this. During morning prayer I am forever having to check my motivation because the prayers I am letting come out are more directed at the person listening to me then they are to God, the one who is actually doing something about these prayers.

Ah, but its a process, and there is grace 🙂 we are all learning. sometimes I just which I could catch on a little faster…

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