Sep 10, 2012
I have been learning about the love of God and how it comes down to our relationship with people; our love is the only thing that matters. Self which leads to hate is opposite of love: Being irritated at the way a person does things is hate. Jesus took on the lowest reputation to be an example to me, in how He views the glory of His father. This is what he expects of me, and I want to be able to develop more of His character.
God revealed something to me as I was reading Easter Sunday morning! That I need revival! Revival comes from fully realizing our intentions – through brokenness and giving it to Jesus to cleanse it in His blood. Even though someone’s reactions are wrong towards me, with my actions towards him or her in my heart I am just as at fault. I can say I forgive you, when they ask me to; as they see themselves at fault because their sin was shown outwardly. But I have a greater understanding that I need to ask forgiveness for how I reacted within, so I can continually be filled with the Holy Spirit, and for my cup to be overflowing consistently! My relationship with my father was very separated, due to my feelings inwardly towards his outward reactions. But my way is no better, it comes down to pride, thinking I have the right to be a certain way toward Him, but the reality is, I don’t.
Some people are more stubborn than others, or are being tested in different ways – we all learn at different levels and the Father knows this. This happens to be where I am at and how the Lord is teaching me. Some commit murder by killing whereas others commit murder by hating. No matter how much worse I think God is reacting I can’t judge or question Him, and allow myself to think I have the right for unloving actions towards Him. If I am not showing loving actions toward Him, I certainly am not showing it to others. It is not about God changing, but about ME changing! It is up to God to change the other person, and I need to accept that I can’t be the one to change others, only He can. Through this, love is revealed.
Growing up I used to be very secluded and found it a struggle to be around people. I thought I could still have a good relationship with Christ, and not have to hang around others because I found it such a challenge. I am realizing that the relationship I have with others, the way I treat them, is directed to God first and foremost. I don’t want to seclude myself from everything and everyone. Nor do I want to do things when it is convenient for me because when I do this, I am calling God a liar, as it says in His word, I paraphrase, “what we do for others we do unto God Himself.” (see Matthew 25:40). Seeing others in this new way has encouraged me to be around them more, and choose opportunities that I would not have otherwise chosen before. I am also learning to listen to them and really focus and relate to what they are saying, not just being in my own little world.
Colossians 3:15 says, “Let the peace of God rule in your heart.” Whenever I feel disturbed, anxious, irritated, judged, self-conscious, etc, I don’t have peace and need to ask God where I need to be broken.
Another thing I have learned is that no one causes me to not have peace, everything is between me and God! Even though I feel awkward and it’s hard at times, it doesn’t mean for me to stay away, it means I need to ask God to cleanse that thought or whatever it is in His blood, and see myself the way He does! This has helped me in the way I deal with others and react to them! As I ask God what He wants to change in me and remain open to whatever He says, He helps me in how I react toward others.
I have realized non believers are no different than Christians. The only huge difference is Jesus Christ, but otherwise we are all at fault most of the time in our everyday life. Some of us just keep it inwardly more than others, but we are still just as wrong. It’s amazing how often we are blind/unaware and don’t realize it, until someone comes to us and gives us insight. These few months at Gospel for Asia I have been learning so much and I didn’t know how much more my eyes needed to be opened. Non-believers need us to encourage and teach them so they can be opened to the truth. As we present God’s wisdom we need to be humble, and not think we are better than they are, we just choose to have Christ intervene. Every Christian continually has more to learn in some way.
I am realizing that every negative thought or feeling I am acting upon prevents true fellowship with Christ as a Christian if I don’t continually give Him the sin in my life. Yes He has bridged the gap, but sin still gets in the way. We can have so much more of His fullness if we continually give it to Him! Non-believers deep down do want a loving God, who doesn’t? They don’t realize what they are missing, if we don’t walk by their side as Christ has done with us, as well as Christ through us, they won’t gain a better understanding of His truth. We need to let them know He will take them the way they are, no matter what they have done or are doing! Even if it seems like common sense to us, words are so powerful, and they need to hear the truth of love. God spoke this world into being, how much more are our words of God’s truth to them? We are to be Christ’s ambassadors!
Thank you Lord Jesus for your example and love to me!
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Sep 5, 2012
How do you think your work is impacting the mission field in Asia?
- One of the most powerful ways to communicate information is through a video. Serving in this ministry has shown me how much the Lord is working in Asia. I’ve had the privilege to see powerful testimonies, and, through the Video Department, I can help communicate those stories and praises to people around the world. It’s not uncommon for a video made here to be seen by tens of thousands of people, so the potential impact from the video department is huge!
What is the most interesting aspect of your job?
- From storyboarding and scripting, to shooting, editing and distributing, I’ve been able to learn from talented individuals who have taught me how to create videos not through a textbook, but by hands-on involvement. These videos have specific purposes which has propelled my learning and ability to produce quality media.
What practical skills have you gained?
- One of the biggest blessings of serving here is being able to learn video production on professional equipment. I never would have thought I’d get my hands on the software and equipment I get to use every day.
What is it like working alongside the staff?
- Working alongside the staff is special to say the least. My supervisor is sold out for the Lord and dedicated to excellence in all he does. My learning from him has gone far beyond the video production process, to walking with the Lord through the highs and lows of life. He’s been a living testimony of patience and grace, as well as a constant source of encouragement.
What has the Lord taught you through your role?
- The Lord has taught me great lessons about working with people and being flexible. I’ve learned a lot about walking day by day with Jesus as opposed to meeting Him once a week on Sunday mornings.
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Sep 4, 2012
I often forget about God’s love for me. I know God’s love for me goes beyond the width and depths of the seas. He knows the hairs on my head, He understands me better than any person in the entire world does. I’ve seen His love displayed in my life, and His promises in the Word.
So, why do I struggle so much with really believing it? It’s because I simply forget!
Recently, I have been having a hard time understanding and accepting God’s love for me. My mind has been under spiritual attack. “No one really loves you, not even God.” It seemed that for half of my life I believed in these lies.
I was writing a prayer to the Lord in my journal this morning before heading to Gospel For Asia and I asked the Lord “Please show me your love today.”
As I went to prayer this morning, I saw a beautiful butterfly necklace on one of the staff members here at Gospel For Asia. I just marveled at it. I love butterflies so much! They are one of my favorite things I enjoy here on this earth. I Heidi, “I really love your necklace! It’s beautiful!” She thanked me and continued praying.
When morning prayer was finished I went to my desk, and she came up to me with tears welling in her eyes and said, “The Holy Spirit is prompting me to give you this necklace.” Immediately I remembered the prayer I had asked the Lord, “please show me your love today.” Then, I heard God’s voice LOUD. “Ani, I am showing you my love through giving you this gift. I desire to fulfill the desires of your heart. I LOVE YOU.” I had told Heidi that I have been struggling with accepting and believing God’s love for me, and how the Lord through her reminded me how much He loved me. We both cried and I felt extremely cared for and adored by the King of the Universe.
The Lord is showing me how often I forget that He LOVES me. He desires to give us the beautiful heavenly desires of our hearts. My desire was for God to show His love for me and He did. And guess what? After that I forgot the Lord’s love! I am constantly in need to remember His love daily. Every single day it is important we take time to remember He loves us. So, each day I ask the Lord to remind me He loves me and that’s exactly what He is does.
I do not want to die with these lies that He doesn’t love me. With God’s promises found in His word, I want to dance with them, run with them, and I want them to be tucked away in my heart. When we are feeling alone or unloved we need to check with God and see what He says about His love for us in the Word. I am blessed to be loved by the Living God. He loves us so much more than anyone else in the entire world.
“He who calls you is Faithful; He will surely do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24
Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies (Psalm 36:5).
How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 36:7).
The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3).
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Aug 28, 2012
Wow, it has already been 6 months as a student here at Gospel for Asia School of Discipleship! The Lord is teaching me so many things and He is also encouraging me! I think the biggest thing the Lord is encouraging me to do is to keep following, pursuing and seeking Him no matter how I feel. I think this is the absolute hardest thing for me to do because when I am emotional and don’t know why (and even when I do know why) I just want to hide and get away from everyone. Now if I chose to rely and act on what my emotions said, I would probably be back home. Making the decision to rely in faith on the Lord’s promises, is so hard for me, but once I do it I feel better because when I read His Word I truly trust what He says. There have been times however, when I read God’s Word and didn’t feel any different afterwards — this is where faith comes in.
Hebrews 11:1 says “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see” (NLT). This verse explains it perfectly. When my emotions decide to take over; immediately faith needs to step in. I have to have confidence that what I hope to happen (which would be that the feelings go away and ultimately that His perfect, good, pleasing will would be done so He may be glorified) and by hoping this will actually happen I can be so assured that it will happen. I know the Lord and He promises to answer the cries of His righteous ones, to deliver, and give them such perfect peace for those who choose to trust Him and keep their thoughts fixed on Him (Isa. 26:3). He also promises us that when we seek Him with all our hearts, we will find Him (Deut. 4:29) He is not going to hide Himself from us. He doesn’t desire us to stay on an emotional roller coaster for the rest of our lives! He came to give life and to give it more abundantly! (John. 10:10).
I find this so encouraging that the Lord showed me this because it really is so important to this Christian life. I mean think of one who is in the position of leadership. Don’t you think there are days when they just feel like giving up and not leading anymore? I mean those in leadership have so many different tasks to do, decisions to make and there not always easy decisions, and they most importantly have to shepherd their flock like Jesus calls them too. If they decided to just give up and stop leading because that’s what their feelings were telling them, I don’t think we would have any leaders in the world, and I know Gospel for Asia would not still be in existence.
The Lord has shown me I have to train my emotions. Whenever I feel them coming up and taking over I have to immediately go to the Lord and ask for faith. And all I need is faith as small as a mustard seed to move mountains. (Matthew 17:20) God has used so many people in my life, especially here at Gospel for Asia to remind me that my emotions and heart are very deceitful above all else (Jer. 17:9) and I need to put my faith in the Lord’s promises. The president of Gospel for Asia, K.P. Yohannan reminds us all of this very often. We need to be reminded because emotions are nothing we can hope in and make decisions based upon.
I think back in my life before School of Discipleship when I used to make so many decisions based on my emotions and every single time, it turned into a huge mess. I remember receiving a text, e-mail, or phone call from someone who made me so angry and instead of taking it to the Lord I decided to react and I ended up really hurting that person and caused them to view God not as a loving God but as an angry God because I called myself a Christian. I praise God that He has been so gracious to me and grown me very much in this area of my life! I also praise God for even bringing me here to School of Discipleship so that these areas in my life can be revealed.
I desire to live by faith and I am encouraged to do so by all the wonderful people here at Gospel for Asia. Each day they encourage me even when I fail to not give up and to keep running the race for Christ. Praise God 🙂
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Aug 27, 2012
In the movie Pride and Prejudice Jane Bennett has just become engaged to Mr. Bingly and while talking to her sister she exclaims “Can you die from happiness?”
Over the past few weeks I have said the exact same thing. In 2010 I graduated from the School of Dscipleship and right now I am back once again. Visiting everyone and volunteering in the office. Every time I am around this family (the Gospel For Asia staff) I am blessed far more than I could even begin to express. My mouth actually hurts I am smiling so much.
But I suppose it is deeper than happiness, rather it is true joy. Joy knowing that God has put such wonderful people in my life..ME! That out of everyone in the world (billions…so I hear) I was one of the few that got to be apart of their family. They teach me so much because their hearts desire to glorify God and they can’t help but shine because of it!
So thank you Jesus for my Gospel for Asia Family and letting me have these precious few weeks with them!
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Aug 14, 2012
http://youtu.be/ITHelpPcNW0
One student shares how she was called into ministry and the decisions she had to make as a young person to fulfill that calling on her life.
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