Something has been tugging on my heart for a long while, and I feel that I should share it with you all. See, I believe and have a relationship with the one God who loves, heals, and delivers. Through my walk with Him, I have gone through valleys, and mountains, but in all of it I can see His faithfulness, and He has never once failed me. He is the only One on whom I can depend in any circumstance, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love the Lord.
The Lord has been with me through rain and shine, and has never left my side. Yes there have been times when I have been so focused on myself that I couldn’t feel Him with me, but in faith I pressed on and sure enough, once I refocused on Him, our relationship dove deeper than before. God is love…and because He is love, this means that He fits the description of what love is from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always persevered. Love never fails.”
Now, you may be wondering, “what about that has been tugging on your heart?” Well, I’m glad you asked! For one, I may have discovered this life-changing (not to be cliché) relationship, but SO many others have rejected it. Now, I’m not writing this newsletter story to condemn any of you, or to make you feel guilty, but what would I be if I didn’t share this with you? It would be like eating your favorite dessert in front of you, and not offering you any of it. Or if you had cancer, and I had the cure, but was selfish and kept it for myself instead of helping you. That would be wrong wouldn’t it?
So what brought on this topic, at this time, after so many previous newsletters that I’ve written? Recently I have had the opportunity to share my faith with my friend back in Pennsylvania (I’ll name him Freddy) who was/is going through a rather difficult time. See, he is looking for love, for someone to be there for him, and since there seemed to be no one who fit that idea, he wanted to end his life. This was the first time that I had ever been through something quite as life/death as this. But you see, God used me and another friend here at GFA to reach out to Freddy and because Freddy finally listened, he is still alive today. No, he didn’t accept the love of Jesus who is right there waiting for Freddy to open his heart to it, but I do believe that he is close.
Much like with Freddy, I want to share with anyone who will listen of the hope found in Jesus, and the love that He offers. Just looking back on my life and all that the Lord has brought me through, I honestly wouldn’t be alive right now if it weren’t for Him stepping in and guiding me through the darkness. Instead of trying to convince you of this truth, dear friends and family, I encourage you to take a look back at your life. Look at what you have gone through, what are the things that the Lord has brought you through?
Anyway, I am praying for you all. I pray for those who do have a relationship with the Lord, that they will dare to dive deeper than ever before into His nature and His presence. Oh how we should study and get to know those that we love, and even more so the Lord who loves us even when we don’t deserve it. I also pray for those of you who do not know the Lord. That your hearts will one day be softened and your eyes opened to the glory that is God. Embrace His love, because it is so great, that He sacrificed EVERYTHING just to give you the opportunity to live and commune with Him.
I was on my way home from work today and it just so happens that some of my friends drive home the same way as I do. I got to a shorter light and was in the process of changing my CD when all of a sudden, out of nowhere there is an arm reaching across my windsheild and puts up one of my windshield wipers. (A harmless prank that my friends and I usually do to each others cars when they are in a parking lot).
I of course jump a mile in my seat, and look over in time to see one of my friends running back to another friend’s car which is in the far other lane away from mine, and he’s laughing, a third friend pulls next to me, and I have very short time to act.
With barely 15 seconds before the light turns green, I quickly roll my window down, put my car in park, take my seatbelt off and reach out my window to put the windshield wipers back down. Of course my arm was too short so I had to really reach for the thing. Just as the light turned green I got back in my car and drove off. Putting my seatbelt on as I stole a last glance back to my friends who were laughing in the car.
Gotta love my friends 🙂 I couldn’t stop laughing about it till I got home. Hehe
It is so cool that through letting go of self-things, allowing God to lead and focusing on Him throughout the day, He reveals so much to me unexpectedly! (Not only here but last year as well) One is about prayer. The only point of it is because He wants to see if we desire Him more than anything and will trust Him, even though it doesn’t make sense. God knows everything but allows us to make that decision to be disciplined. You may have had a question such as “God knows everything so why does it matter what we do?” The answer is trust. We won’t know everything. He made us and He made this Universe, He is closer to us than our own feelings! Everything comes down to faith; we must not try to reason everything out. In the case of living for God, most things won’t make sense; if it did we would not be living by faith. Faith and God must go together.
James 5:15 “And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.” Prayer is so we can grow in our faith and fellowship with Christ.
1 Samuel 7:3b “Rid yourselves of the foreign gods … and commit yourselves to the Lord and serve him only, and He will deliver you out of the hands of the Philistines.” How we live in this world shows who our god is, whether money, our body, stomach, time, or God Himself. Our faithfulness on earth determines our rewards in Heaven, not that is what we live for, it’s not about religion; that is works. But rather being repentant and in all we do is in our love for God.
Another thing He has revealed to me is a deeper meaning of living by faith. It is continually walking in the unknown as God leads. Faith is the unexpected, if we are not living by faith or continually walking out of our comfort zone for God we have not totally accepted what He has done on the cross. Christ died on the cross to set us free from our sins. Disobedience is sin, so when we choose not to be open we are disobedient. We are disobedient and unwilling to be open because we don’t know what the outcome is so we are fearful and worried. Accepting what Christ has done for us at the cross, rising from death to life, means we will be open and obey His Spirits’ leading, because we trust for His best outcome and that He will protect us no matter how uncertain it looks and seems. We can trust Him because He has made us. Only in Him will our souls be filled.
He suffered so we will too, if we are truly following Christ. The Bible tells us that we are to consider it a privilege to suffer for the Lord (see Philippians 1:29). Only then can we experience the quenching thirst that is within each one of us. The question is not whether I want to live by faith, as this life seems difficult, rather it’s what God our Creator wants. He knows us better than anyone and it isn’t fair to make a decision without asking Him and choosing His ways.
When I am confused or anxious, I remind myself to be patient and allow God to lead. Since I know I can trust God and that I want to love Him more than anything, times like these I experience Him in such a precious way. Even though it hurts inside, He knows what is best for me. He sees the future; I don’t, so my intimacy draws near to Him! And he gives me a burden and a heart to pray for others. I just say, “Holy Spirit take over, God has a great plan for my life.” There is no place I would rather be then in the arms of God.
When we live out what we’ve learned, our memories improve. The same is true of spiritual memories. 2 Peter 1:1-10 Peter urges believers to live out what they have learned, he warns us that if we neglect spiritual disciplines we forget what Christ has done and live inconsistently. This only makes it harder to get back on track. So instead of doing our own things, wait so you don’t need to go through the extra struggle, reaping what you sow. Rather be patient in the Lord and realize even though it looks “greener on the other side” most often it’s not. Especially if we aren’t patient because then we rush into things on our own and God is not in the center, which causes more problems on our side. Besides discipline is love, so when the Lord disciplines us it just means He loves us 🙂
We need to also be careful with what we say. I am a quiet person and open with my life. God has been showing me to wait on Him before I speak. We will have many thoughts, as that is where the battle takes place, but we need to keep our thoughts captive and allow God to show us the right thinking. We can say a lot, but our thoughts are all over the place, so “… Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” James 1:19. Often when we are frustrated about ourselves, others, or just confused, we say all that we are thinking. When we do we get more frustrated because we are not letting go of negative thoughts. What we speak will either build us up or bring us down. We make it more difficult for ourselves when we speak up right away, so we need to slow down and wait on the Lord.
At a recent prayer meeting, Danny talked about how important it is to keep your camera lens clean. If it’s not cleaned regularly, then dirt, dust, and sometimes even fungus can get in the camera or lens and ruin any chance of taking a nice photo. This all is a representative of a bigger picture. We are supposed to keep our hearts, minds, and eyes clean so that we can clearly reflect God’s nature to those around us.
So often Christ is misrepresented by those who claim to be Believers, but lie, steal and destroy those around them. Clearly they are not “loving one another” as Christ commanded us to do. Now, I’m not writing this to judge them, or knock them down in any way. Because how often do we, ourselves misrepresent the Lord to those around us?
Maybe we are frustrated in traffic at the person who isn’t turning fast enough. Or the person in the grocery store took the last item off the shelf that you needed for dinner that night. Or maybe you are tired and exhausted, and get impatient with those around you. I know I struggle a lot with those simple things. But doesn’t God say in John 13:35 “by this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
A good test of this happened not too long ago for me. I had the privilege to travel up to Pennsylvania, with my best friend Katie, to spend a few days at Christmas with my amazing family. I was so excited, yet so nervous at the same time. I’m not sure why I was nervous, they’re my family and I love them dearly. But it had been a year since I had seen most of them, and I knew I had missed a lot. Would I be able to just fit in like normal? Would they notice any growth that the Lord had done in my life? Would I be able to love them like Christ loves them, and be a good representation of Christ to them?
As the days flew by, I could feel my energy draining. By the time I was boarding the plane with Katie, I had just come off a very busy week at work. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. I wasn’t sure I would have enough energy or enthusiasm left to give everyone attention when they came over. The only thing left for me to do was pray. Pray that the Lord would use me, despite my inability to give anything.
As I arrived, I felt like I was a visitor. I love my Mommy, my brother, and the rest of my family and friends. But I knew that I didn’t “belong” in PA anymore. No matter how much I may think about how things “might have turned out”, what I could be doing, who I might be hanging out with. It was like God confirmed to me, yet again, that He called me to Gospel for Asia, and that no matter how hard things may get, He will use me as I remain faithful to Him in Texas.
Time flew by as we moved from the open house on Friday, to Christmas Eve celebrations on Saturday, Christmas on Sunday, and then last minute things on Monday. Each day, God filled me with His Spirit, His patience and His love. It was like, even though I had nothing left to give, all God needed was a willing heart. A willing heart that allowed Him to clearly reflect His glorious, and awe-inspiring nature, to those who gathered around. I was able to play with my cousins, and not be frustrated with them, but enjoy every moment spent with them. To talk with relatives and boldly share what the Lord is doing in my life, and share possible plans for the future. To laugh and worship with friends, without being shy or nervous about who the Lord has transformed me into in the past year. To spend time with my mommy, brother, and Katie and not be worried or flustered with all the chaos of preparing for people to come over. And as silly as it seems, it was enjoyable to spend time playing with my mom’s dog Sawyer, and her new puppy Finn, even when Finn would try to escape in the yard.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, no matter how tired you may be, always keep your camera lens clean. Allow God to work through your life to those who might be around. Ask the Lord to make you a clear reflection of His magnificent glory.
Thanks for reading, I’m praying for each of you. God Bless!
I have been learning about the love of God and how it comes down to our relationship with people; our love is the only thing that matters. Self which leads to hate is opposite of love: Being irritated at the way a person does things is hate. Jesus took on the lowest reputation to be an example to me, in how He views the glory of His father. This is what he expects of me, and I want to be able to develop more of His character.
God revealed something to me as I was reading Easter Sunday morning! That I need revival! Revival comes from fully realizing our intentions – through brokenness and giving it to Jesus to cleanse it in His blood. Even though someone’s reactions are wrong towards me, with my actions towards him or her in my heart I am just as at fault. I can say I forgive you, when they ask me to; as they see themselves at fault because their sin was shown outwardly. But I have a greater understanding that I need to ask forgiveness for how I reacted within, so I can continually be filled with the Holy Spirit, and for my cup to be overflowing consistently! My relationship with my father was very separated, due to my feelings inwardly towards his outward reactions. But my way is no better, it comes down to pride, thinking I have the right to be a certain way toward Him, but the reality is, I don’t.
Some people are more stubborn than others, or are being tested in different ways – we all learn at different levels and the Father knows this. This happens to be where I am at and how the Lord is teaching me. Some commit murder by killing whereas others commit murder by hating. No matter how much worse I think God is reacting I can’t judge or question Him, and allow myself to think I have the right for unloving actions towards Him. If I am not showing loving actions toward Him, I certainly am not showing it to others. It is not about God changing, but about ME changing! It is up to God to change the other person, and I need to accept that I can’t be the one to change others, only He can. Through this, love is revealed.
Growing up I used to be very secluded and found it a struggle to be around people. I thought I could still have a good relationship with Christ, and not have to hang around others because I found it such a challenge. I am realizing that the relationship I have with others, the way I treat them, is directed to God first and foremost. I don’t want to seclude myself from everything and everyone. Nor do I want to do things when it is convenient for me because when I do this, I am calling God a liar, as it says in His word, I paraphrase, “what we do for others we do unto God Himself.” (see Matthew 25:40). Seeing others in this new way has encouraged me to be around them more, and choose opportunities that I would not have otherwise chosen before. I am also learning to listen to them and really focus and relate to what they are saying, not just being in my own little world.
Colossians 3:15 says, “Let the peace of God rule in your heart.” Whenever I feel disturbed, anxious, irritated, judged, self-conscious, etc, I don’t have peace and need to ask God where I need to be broken.
Another thing I have learned is that no one causes me to not have peace, everything is between me and God! Even though I feel awkward and it’s hard at times, it doesn’t mean for me to stay away, it means I need to ask God to cleanse that thought or whatever it is in His blood, and see myself the way He does! This has helped me in the way I deal with others and react to them! As I ask God what He wants to change in me and remain open to whatever He says, He helps me in how I react toward others.
I have realized non believers are no different than Christians. The only huge difference is Jesus Christ, but otherwise we are all at fault most of the time in our everyday life. Some of us just keep it inwardly more than others, but we are still just as wrong. It’s amazing how often we are blind/unaware and don’t realize it, until someone comes to us and gives us insight. These few months at Gospel for Asia I have been learning so much and I didn’t know how much more my eyes needed to be opened. Non-believers need us to encourage and teach them so they can be opened to the truth. As we present God’s wisdom we need to be humble, and not think we are better than they are, we just choose to have Christ intervene. Every Christian continually has more to learn in some way.
I am realizing that every negative thought or feeling I am acting upon prevents true fellowship with Christ as a Christian if I don’t continually give Him the sin in my life. Yes He has bridged the gap, but sin still gets in the way. We can have so much more of His fullness if we continually give it to Him! Non-believers deep down do want a loving God, who doesn’t? They don’t realize what they are missing, if we don’t walk by their side as Christ has done with us, as well as Christ through us, they won’t gain a better understanding of His truth. We need to let them know He will take them the way they are, no matter what they have done or are doing! Even if it seems like common sense to us, words are so powerful, and they need to hear the truth of love. God spoke this world into being, how much more are our words of God’s truth to them? We are to be Christ’s ambassadors!
Thank you Lord Jesus for your example and love to me!
Recent Comments