Not a Suggestion

Before Jesus ascended into heaven, he left us with the command to “be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8).  That wasn’t just a suggestion for the 12 disciples to attempt, that proclamation was the mission statement for all adopted sons and daughters that would be brought into the Kingdom from that day forward to give their lives to.

Overwhelming when looked at from a logical standpoint, sure.  But the first part of that verse states, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you.”  So we know that this isn’t to be done in our own strength; that would be impossible.  God gave us the command to spread His name around the world, but He also said that He is going to be with us.

Therefore, my job is to be obedient in stepping out on this.  The only reason I was even saved in the first place was because a camp counselor in Virginia was obedient to God in telling people about Him.  How could I be okay with doing any less?

So how does my life fit into God’s plan for world evangelism?  It’s my entire reason for being here on earth.  However, what that looks like specifically will probably change throughout my life.  In high school, it was to be a witness for him and to tell the people at my school about His love and salvation.  I didn’t do a great job at fulfilling that, but I did help lead my best friend to the Lord.  For right now, it means serving in the office of Gospel for Asia and doing anything I can to help bring the Gospel to the most unreached people in the world.

Beyond that though, there is a lot I can be doing.  If it is true that I can only help fulfill the Great Commission with the help of the Holy Spirit, which I irrefutably believe is the case, then I must learn what it is like to be led by the Holy Spirit.  God isn’t just going to take control of my body and do everything He wants done on earth, although I often think that would be a much easier way to go.  No, He is going to always give us the option to follow Him or to follow the world.

Therefore it is absolutely crucial that I develop and maintain time every single day to spend with the Lord, seeking His face and learning His heart.  I am naive to think I can even make it through a normal day at the office and be in anyway effective without total dependence on the Lord.

Paul was obedient to the Lord’s direction even when it meant he was walking to his own death.  He had no care for himself or his own life, his only concern was to see the lost saved and to glorify the Lord.

I need to have that mindset that I am not my own; not my body, not my time, not even my thoughts or emotions.  I have no rights; and this is a wonderful and merciful thing!  Living for what I want in the past has ended in confusion and angst and dissatisfaction.  Living with no thought to what I want has brought me only peace and contentment and joy because I am no longer looking at myself.  I have no reason to be concerned about anything because my life is in God’s hands and if He wants it to be easy then it will be easy, and if he wants it to be hard then it will be hard.  The peace comes from knowing that it’s no longer my concern or in my control.

But this is not easy.  It’s not even close.

It’s completely unnatural to not try and plan out my future and stress and wonder how things are going to get done.  It’s unnatural not to look at myself and see all these issues and wonder how I can fix things and get consumed in creating solutions.  Yet that just brings us back again to how crucial it is that this life is not lived on our own strength, but rather through surrender to the Holy Spirit.  I can’t even desire to follow the Holy Spirit without His help!

Prayer, fasting, meditation, studying scripture; these spiritual disciplines are now realized as more than something for my own personal benefit.  While they do have significant impact on my life, personal improvement is not always enough motivation for me to dutifully practice each one.  But it’s so much more than that.  Doing each of the things above brings me into a deeper relationship with God which in turn allows me to be more sensitive the Holy Spirit and therefore more able to be used by God to fulfill the Great Commission.

It’s not just working at a computer at Gospel For Asia that helps to plant churches.  If I neglect my relationship with the Lord, I won’t make it here.  The way I spend my time and guard my thoughts are just as important so that I remain close to the Lord and able to be used by Him to save people from an eternity in Hell.

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I’m Ba-aack

It’s been a busy few months!  Between School of Discipleship graduation,  a support trip back home, training for my new job, and new staff classes just beginning, I have definitely been learning a lot about dependence on the Lord.

I find my self becoming easily stressed out and overwhelmed when I have so many things going on that I fail to even look to God for any help or answers.  I tend to start becoming so busy that I no longer even make time for daily devotions to seek the Lord and look for His hand in these things.

I realized this is where I was a little over a month ago as I sat listening to a sermon about spiritual maturity.  The basic message was that when we fail, the main sign of spiritual maturity is to run TO the Lord and the main sign of spiritual immaturity is to run AWAY from Him.  I was able to fairly easily  recognize myself in the latter.  That realization was huge for me because it brought me running back to the Lord and rediscovering the rest that He offers.

So rather than trying to balance a thousand things during the day and then just coming back to the apartment to veg and watch TV, I am now striving to go before the Lord with my free time and be filled with His peace that He truly is sovereign and all these things I am worried about and dealing with are under His control.  I like that.

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Eyes Wide Shut

It’s ridiculous.

I am still struggling with this “transparent” idea about living honestly in front of people. We had all-night-prayer last friday and I found myself zoning around 1 am. One of my friends was praying and I was totally blanking on whatever they were saying and just gazing into the nothingness outside. A few seconds of this and I notice someone glance over at me and instantly I squeeze shut my eyes and put on a very “spiritual” look that resembles the most passionate of prayer-warriors and begin to mumble “mhms” and “yes Lord” in agreement with my friends prayer.

Bit pathetic? You bet, and its not like this was a one time thing either. I am always finding myself doing this. During morning prayer I am forever having to check my motivation because the prayers I am letting come out are more directed at the person listening to me then they are to God, the one who is actually doing something about these prayers.

Ah, but its a process, and there is grace 🙂 we are all learning. sometimes I just which I could catch on a little faster…

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Freeze Your Face

A few months ago we went through Gayle Erwin’s “Jesus Style” series and this was a piece of advice given to us during one of the class times: “go to the mirror and create every emotion you can come up with, then find the face of grace and freeze it.”

As I went through this series with our class, it was made clear over and over that Jesus was completely “others centered.” Every attribute that was listed revolved around Jesus being a servant to everyone else in every situation. (Mark 10:45)

It is our job to become like Christ and to follow His example laid out for us during His time on earth. Philippians 2 opens with a plea for us to pursue the nature of Jesus in our lives by loving one another and valuing them above ourselves in the same way Christ valued us to the point of death on a cross that we might be reconciled with Him in heaven.

I desire to be a person so full of the love in 1 Corinthians 13 that it overwhelms me! I can’t live out that life on my own, no matter how desperately I may try. The only way I can even come close without feeling completely overwhelmed is for God to live out that love through me and to follow the example given us by His son.

I pray that as I continue to grow and seek the Lord that my heart will become more and more like His and that the people I encounter will experience His love because it is simply overwhelming me and flowing over.

I want my face to forever be a reflection of the grace I have received in Christ with no room for condemnation to others. I know I mess this up daily but its something the Lord is teaching me and I wanted to share that bit with you =)

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Texas ain’t that cold!!!

So I learned two things yesterday.  One, running was created as the worst kind of torture—fact.  But two, and this is really the purpose of blogging here today, I am a very material centered person.  Now I guess these are both things I have “known” before, but yesterday really just confirmed them.

See, yesterday afternoon I decided that when I went home then I would try to be productive and clear out a lot of my things that I don’t need.  The whole idea of trying to simplify my life with all the clutter of stuff so that I wouldn’t be distracted by them anymore so that I would be more free to focus on God was an appealing and logical idea that I wished to pursue.

HOWEVER, this task took a lot more effort then I had anticipated.  I was pulling out clothes I haven’t worn in forever, and realistically I forgot I even had them and yet I was extremely hesitant to give them away.  But why is that??  I kept thinking of reasons to hold on to my 4th long sleeved black shirt (what if I need to go painting and some of the paint spills on my other 3?).  really? that was my excuse?

And after much clinging and some relinquishing, I did manage to collect one large bag of clothes but I held on to a lot more then was necessary I’m sure.  Maybe in the next couple months I will go for a take two and try again, cause who really needs eight hoodies?  Texas isn’t THAT cold…

 

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