Jun 11, 2012
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
I was at Gospel For Asia for a week of interviews. I was confident I was ready to be on staff. Thursday morning I was praying, and God said “Wait.” “Wait? For what? I’ve been waiting for over six months already.”
I went into my last interview with David and he asked me how I felt. I answered “I feel like God is telling me to wait a little longer to get some more life skills.” This answer was not easy. In fact, the whole day I cried about it. I felt like God had abandoned me though, in reality He was a lot closer than I felt at the time.
When I got home, my parents were getting all over me for my decision, just as upset as I felt.
The next couple of weeks were tough. Satan kept on taunting me for the decision, even though my parents came to realize I had made the right decision. I honestly did not feel that way at the time.
During this time God had to keep on reminding that He is in control not me. There were a couple of verses that kept on popping up at the time. The first one was Philippians 3:12-13, where Paul writes about pressing on and keeping our eyes on Jesus despite our difficulties. The other one was Philippians 4, where Paul writes about bringing our prayers to God.
Almost immediately I started looking for jobs. I applied for one job, and I got a rejection letter.
The second job I applied for at a nursing home to do food service. I got an interview for this job.
I was in church this past Sunday, and the pastor did a sermon on Ezekiel 37:1-14 about the valley of dry bones. He talked about how when things seem hopeless God comes and renews us by His spirit. The past two weeks I had felt like a bunch of dry bones walking around. I didn’t know what God wanted me to do next and nothing seemed to be happening.
On Wednesday of this past week, I got a call from the employer from the nursing home I applied for. She wanted to know if I had a third reference, since she couldn’t get a hold of my references. I gave her a name and she said she would call me back after getting a hold of the reference. That same afternoon, I got a phone call asking me to do a drug test the next morning, which I agreed to do.
A few hours after the drug test, I got a phone call. I didn’t get it till around 4:20 when my mom came home because I was in the pool.
I called back once I got it, and found out I was hired for the job at the nursing home.
It is amazing how God has been working this past month. God has taught me so much about contentment and what it means to seek Him.
God knows all our needs and will provide for them in his timing. We just have to continue to seek His kingdom before anything else.
I am thankful to God, because he has given me a job I never expected to have and I’ll get to share His love with the nursing home residents.
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Apr 23, 2012
Recently I heard a message from Auntie Gisela. She is K.P. Yohannan’s wife, and every third thursday of the month we have a Gospel For Asia ladies meeting where she will share a message with us. This month’s title was “The Gospel is Good News.” It’s good news for all who receive it. Even though times will get tough, God can handle it and will dust us off again. Nothing is too impossible for God.
God knows. So why worry? I’ve had struggles with depression off and on, and until just recently I’ve had a hard time combating it and refocusing on the Lord. It finally clicked during ladies meeting, that whatever I entertain in my thoughts, or in my heart will bear fruit. So if I dwell on those thoughts and feelings of depression, it will bear fruit and make me useless in reaching the lost in Asia. So in order to protect my call, I need to not think on those things. Just like in Philippians 4, where Paul says “whatever things are true, whatever things [are] noble, whatever things [are] just, whatever things [are] pure, whatever things [are] lovely, whatever things [are] of good report, if [there is] any virtue and if [there is] anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.” (NKJV)
So if I immediately combat all those negative thoughts that I am worth nothing, that God doesn’t care about my desires, that there’s no point in me doing what I do because it’s all worthless, with the TRUTH that the Lord clearly lays out in His word for me, for this exact purpose, then I don’t have to worry.
Yes, it is hard to do. It’s so easy to entertain those thoughts. But I will NOT allow the enemy to get a foothold on my any longer. God loves me, He sent His Son to DIE for me, He rose again conquering death so that I may have a chance to live forever in His presence, and He is continuing to renew and transform me into His image. Who can be depressed when they can understand and grasp the depth of God’s unfailing love for them?
There is joy in the Lord. A Joy that will never fail. A Joy fed from His Spirit living in me. Even in times of trial and darkness, His joy is there to shine through me. And I’m happy about that. I am content in the Lord.
Anyway… that was my quick update of where my thoughts are at the moment. Hope it was a blessing to you! Remember that God knows what’s best for you. He knew it before you were born, and He knows how best to fulfill His plan in your life. So trust Him, and don’t worry. 🙂
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Mar 12, 2012
So I just recently had a revelation. An “ah-ha!” moment, I would normally say. You know the verse Philippians 4:4 where Paul writes “Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I will say rejoice!”
Gospel for Asia is an organization born from prayer. Literally, it started as a Tuesday night prayer meeting in our founders house, and still to this day, we are a living breathing organism grounded in the greatest gift given to believers in Christ – Prayer. We have Monday, Thursday, and Friday morning prayer before we go to our ministry areas, we have Tuesday night prayer every week, we have a Friday night all night prayer on the first Friday of every month, as departments we have prayer once, twice, or even three times a week, and of course there is personal prayer time. I’m not saying this to brag or anything, but just to make a point. With our lives grounded in prayer, you can bet that we see the effects of those prayer requests every day, sometimes immediately after we’ve prayed. I don’t know about you, but for me, this is a cause to rejoice.
Some of the answers to prayer may include, healing for brothers and sisters, people coming to know the Lord through the various ministries we have on the field, people faithfully giving to further God’s work, etc. Aren’t these amazing things?! But what about those prayer requests that we don’t get the result we had been hoping for? Say, we pray for healing for a brother or sister in Asia who was brutally beaten for professing Christ our Savior, we pray and we pray and we pray, but then that brother or sister goes to be with the Lord. How is that a good thing for the family that they left behind, or for the believers he was discipling in a distant village, or even for those who persecuted him? Doesn’t Paul say Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS?
Is the word “always” subjected to only the happy answers to prayer? Shouldn’t we also rejoice in the answers to prayer that aren’t as happy? Praise the Lord that brother is no longer suffering, but he is forever in the eternal presence of our Lord Jesus! Praise the Lord I didn’t get the raise in my paycheck, because HE knows what I need more than I could ever imagine! Praise the Lord for _______ (you fill in the blank).
Often times working in ministry I will get caught up in the numbers of the results. No matter how hard I try not to focus on the numbers, it seems to always creep into mind. Recently we have been praying for big things to happen on the web, but what happens if we don’t see that prayer answer? Or if the numbers go down? Will we still be praising the Lord for the lives transformed by the prayers and gifts given by those who were perhaps sacrificing what someone might call the “widow’s mite”? I want to say I would rejoice in this situation. I want to say I would rejoice in every situation, whether it be death, or new life, or sickness, or health. I will definitely be praying for the Lord to make this transformation in my heart and mind.
I am praying for each of you. I may not know your name, or what you look like, but I do know that God loves you more than you could ever fathom. And I pray that if you know Him, that you would grow in Him. If you don’t know Him, I pray that you will come to know and love Him just as He knows and loves you (even before you were born!).
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Mar 1, 2012
My days are now full of family activities such as sledding, shoveling the snow from the driveway, and other things like raising my support to join staff at Gospel for Asia. Life is a roller coaster for sure. One moment I’m on the top of the world and the next I’m discouraged; wanting to climb in my bed and pull the covers over my head till the whole world dissolves. Today was actually a really good day till the afternoon but between lack of sleep and a few other stress factors I again got to the point where I wanted to hide from everyone. I cried a while and then looked through some pictures trying to find something that could help me not feel so gloomy. A picture of my family years ago… maybe just a goofy picture of my brothers and me. This is the one I found.
This is me the day I got the call saying I was accepted for the School of Discipleship. I was so excited that I ran outside in my socks to tell my brother who was taking pictures in the front yard. I’m not really fond of how I look in the photo but tonight it meant everything to me. It was remembering that God has specifically called me to do this job. He chose me to be in School of Discipleship and He chose me to keep serving by joining staff. I was more confident of God’s calling at this moment than I had ever been in my life and I felt a very similar (and maybe even greater) joy when I was sure God wanted me to join staff. So looking at the picture I had to ask myself what is different about life that makes me feel down in the dumps as opposed to skipping around in the dirt. Well it’s not God that’s changed and I’m sure that His call hasn’t changed either. The only thing that keeps changing are my emotions. But no matter what I do, or how I feel He is – and will always be – the same. That’s something I can bank on. He won’t let me down and He won’t let you down either.
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Dec 4, 2011
I had an “aha moment” just now as I was listening to my current favorite song “How He Loves” by John Mark Mcmillan, while chatting with a friend of mine about how we are trusting God for the future instead of us trying to manipulate circumstances so they work out how we want them, instead of how God wants them.
This is what I sent him:
– It’s crazy that EVERYTHING in our lives was planned out to perfection before we were even born.
– That God planned what we would learn, how we would learn it, and when would learn to apply it.
– Meaning that everything that happened before we learned the truth, before it finally “clicked” was His plan as well.
– That those experiences are what brought us to the realization of His Truth in this very moment.
– Just like everything we are learning now is for preparation for what’s in store for us in the future.
– Everything is timed perfectly.
– So perfectly in fact that we often times miss it.
– We miss what He is doing and has done until He points it out to us.
– And it’s all so that we can know how much He loves us. All so that we can then turn and give glory to Him for working the good in our lives amidst all the bad that we perceived as bad, which was actually for out ultimate good.
Isn’t that crazy? God is so good. Anyway… that was my Aha moment.
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