Dec 23, 2013
Recently the Lord has been showing me that He is allowing me to do some things in my own strength, and do it well (ex. time management, punctuality); but the things which I can never do in my own strength, because they deal with my heart or my inner life (ex. changing my attitude, getting rid of pride), I don’t have much success at all. Praise God for showing this to me! I desire to grow in this area, relying completely on Him and doing everything in His strength alone!
The other day we had a time of solitude and the Lord brought to my mind the thought “If I did not receive anything for serving the Lord, would I still serve Him?” That really struck me when He brought this to my mind! Lord, forgive me my pride and selfishness! I strongly desire to come to a place of 100% complete dependence upon my Lord and Saviour.
Slowly, ever so slowly, I am learning these things! But once again, the head knowledge helps me absolutely zilch if I do nothing to incorporate these truths into my life! Praise God for His grace in loving me and making me complete in Christ, even though I have nothing to bring Him!
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Dec 23, 2013
Tonight was the last night that my three roommates and I went out for a time of fellowship together as roommates. However, I think this (and the first time) was my favorite of all. We travelled to a coffee shop that a friend had visited a while back. We were all kind of dragging ourselves out the door because it has been a rather long week and our tiredness was catching up to us. Once we arrived, we all got ourselves some yummy snacks, coffee beverages and a small dinner, sat in the back of the cafe, and proceeded to talk, play games, and have a grand old time.
Soon, two men started to perform some live music, which was kind of loud, but rather enjoyable at the same time – though we had to talk louder so we could hear each other. We didn’t mind. My friend beat me at Ultimate Tic-Tac-Toe, we played a few rounds of Kings in the Corner, sang along with some of the songs the guys were playing, shared some goofy times of nonsense laughter, and then discussed what verses the Lord had been pointing out to us lately. Soon enough, we decided to put away the game of cards and read through a book of the Bible. Ephesians was chosen, and so we proceeded to read through it chapter by chapter (passing it to the next person at the start of a new chapter).
As we read through the Word of God, we stopped to comment on certain parts as they came up in our hearts. A lot of “AMEN!”s were said before we even finished the first chapter. It was so refreshing to open up this book after hearing two messages by Gayle Erwin who came to share some words of encouragement with the Gospel for Asia staff yesterday and this morning.
When the musicians took a break, one of the guys came back to our table (we had been applauding their music the whole time and so they decided to come say “hi”) and asked what we were doing. We told him that we were reading through Ephesians and he was glad to find out we were Christians as well.
As our time drew to a close (it was getting kind of late, and we were remembering how tired we were before discussing the Lord and His goodness) we closed the Word and drove home discussing how refreshing it is to meditate on His promises and remind ourselves of His truth.
Now it’s time for me to go to bed, but I wanted to reflect a little longer on this great time of fellowship that we had as roommates, but further than that, sisters in Christ. One Body. A Unity that can only be accomplished through the Spirit of the Lord that dwells in our hearts. I’d say this was a good way to “end” this chapter of my living situations, and I very much am looking forward to my next.
Thanks for listening!
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Dec 23, 2013
“Jesus wept.”
– John 11:35
That’s the shortest verse in the Bible. And the only place in the Bible that it’s recorded that Jesus cried. Why? What was up? The verse is only a couple syllables long, but I believe these two words are there for us to learn from!
What’s the context of John 11:35? If you go ahead and read the other verses in John chapter 11, you’ll realize that Jesus was crying because His friend Lazarus had died. Lazarus had been sick; Jesus didn’t go to him right away; and Lazarus died.
You know what John 11:35 tells me? Jesus was human. Gayle Erwin’s book The Jesus Style explains this so clearly. Jesus was human – and understanding that can be revolutionary! (If you haven’t read The Jesus Style yet, go do it.) Jesus was 100% man, and 100% God. If you can’t fully comprehend that, that’s okay. Neither can I. It’s like trying to wrap your mind around the concept of infinity. But just because I don’t fully understand something, it doesn’t mean I can’t believe in it with all my heart!
“Jesus wept.” Jesus felt sorrow, he felt pain. He understands my emotions!!! And it’s okay to cry. (In class in School of Discipleship one morning, we were discussing if it was okay for guys to cry. That’s a controversial topic so I won’t get into it, but we came to the conclusion that is IS okay for guys to cry. John 11:35 tells us that Jesus did!) But one point that was brought up about this verse – Jesus didn’t remain in His sorrow. He wept, and then He moved on. He was sorrowful, and then He did something about it! Jesus was sad that Lazarus had died – and then He raised him from the dead.
So, emotions are okay. Just don’t let them rule you. Feelings come and go, but facts are what you can depend on. That sounds awfully pragmatic…but it’s true. Relying on the truth – on what God says – is so much better than relying on what I feel.
And when we feel sorrowful, that’s okay.
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
“There is a time for everything… a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4)
But don’t dwell in that sorrow, move on, learn from it, and do something about it. Cause that’s what Jesus did.
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Dec 23, 2013
“Lay Me Down” by Chris Tomlin has been like the theme song of the 2013 January class of School of Discipleship. At the beginning of the year we all went to different churches together and almost every Sunday we heard this song playing. Either we would sing it in the service, hear it playing after the service, or someone had it in their head and was singing it.
At first, we just thought it was a great song. I had never even heard it before coming to the School of Discipleship. Then, as we continued to hear it we figured maybe God was speaking to us through it. After hearing/ singing it over and over and over again, I thought, “Hey – this could be our theme song!”
The whole song talks about giving up all we are for the Lord to use however He chooses. The motto for School of Discipleship is “Can you die to yourself for one year?” I think this song is the answer to that question. Not only does this song talk about laying our lives down for Christ, but it says “It will be my joy to say, Your will, Your way, ALWAYS!” Those are some pretty powerful words and they have challenged me a lot. Am I willing to joyfully lay down my entire life and say “Lord, whatever You want me to do and wherever You want me to go, my answer will always be, yes Lord, send me?”
This is what Jesus Christ, the Son of God, did for me and you. What choice do we have, but to give it back and die for Him. He has promised the greatest reward if we do. Praise the Lord for salvation and the sacrifice of Jesus’ blood on that cruel cross.
May our prayer be, “I lay me down, I’m not my own, I belong to you alone, lay me down, lay me down. Take this life and let it shine, lay me down, lay me down, Jesus.” – Chris Tomlin
Singing around the campfire while camping!
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Jul 22, 2013
I remember when I landed in Texas on August 17th, 2012, after a long flight from my hometown Boise, ID. I got off the plane, my eyes red from crying most of the flight over (after an emotional goodbye with my family and best friend), and made my way to the baggage claim. I got a text from my house mentor, someone I had never met and only talked to on the phone briefly, and told her I was short and wearing an orange shirt. She found me and I remember walking out of the airport and being smacked in the face with the heat and humidity that makes mid-August infamous in Texas for. The drive to my apartment was so much to take in. The sky felt so huge…and I realized that’s because there were no mountains. Everything was flat. And brown. I remember thinking, ok, Lord, here I am sacrificing this year to You like You asked. Let’s get it over with so I can get on with the life I’ve dreamed of having – being a pilot in the Air Force, maybe studying Journalism, and eventually becoming a missionary pilot (long down the road, that is).
Here I am, nearly a year later, still disliking Texas and the heat as much as when I first came, but so thankful for the year I’ve had here and so completely changed by the Lord that I’ll be coming back to live here and serve as a full-time staff member of Gospel For Asia for as long as the Lord wills me to. Isn’t that crazy? Tell me this is where I would be a year ago and I would have smacked you! Just kidding. But seriously, when you buckle down and seek the Lord’s will – actually desire to know what HE wants for you, not what YOU would like Him to want for you – surprising things are going to happen. You might just have to give up dreams you’ve cherished since you were tiny. You might have to give up comforts, like living in an area of the country that is absolutely beautiful and perfect to go to one that nearly kills you with its humidity and heat and insanely large insects. You might have to accept the fact that you won’t be around for as many family holidays as you would like…you might miss important family milestones and even feel a bit lonely, seperated from the people you’ve lived with and loved all your life.
It’s different for each person, but giving things up comes with picking up your cross and following our Savior. Does that sound depressing? It’s difficult, yes. But when I understand that the desires of my heart are now irreversably entwined with the desires the Lord has for me, and when I dwell on His incredible love, and how like in Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete only in Him, and chapter 3:3, my life is hidden with Christ, and He is now my life, then my perspective changes and there is nothing I would rather be doing than following where He leads.
Home is with Him. That’s one thing I’ve learned this year. If He calls me to Antarctica it would be all right, because He is with me in Antarctica and I am fulfilling the purpose He created me for by obeying Him.
Spending a year here at Gospel For Asia’s School of Discipleship has taught me a marvelous paradox…to obtain freedom, I must become a slave. To experiance life to the fullest, I must die – only in sacrifice will I gain my heart’s desire. Prayer is the most powerful weapon given to mankind – the ability to enter the presence of the Lord God Almighty and to intercede before His throne. Fellowship and transparency with the body of believers is vital to spiritual growth. Brokenness and submission are worthy goals I will be striving all my life to attain. And the greatest of all is LOVE.
As my year here ends, so does this chapter of my life. But the full story, the great adventure, is just beginning.
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