Mar 22, 2011
Lately I’ve had this thought come racing through my mind at various occasions and I know for certain that it’s one of satan’s many lies that he throws at me. One thing I know about myself, is that I am a people pleaser. I try to make people laugh at any opportunity that I get. And I want to have their approval. And it hurts me when someone is upset or frustrated at me. I get the feeling that I’m not wanted, that no one cares, and that I should just stop trying to be a part of people’s lives because I end up ruining them in the long run. But that’s not true!
But often times I find it so hard to NOT think that way. I find it easy to say to myself “yeah, listen to what satan’s saying, you know it’s true, you’d be better off living alone and not hurt your friends worse than you already have” and that makes me want to cry. But then, in the back of my mind, I get little glimpses of truth. Praise the Lord, He’s been teaching me to recognize those little glimpses as His Holy Spirit, who lives inside my heart, trying to pull me back into His loving embrace. Thank you Lord!
Now when I have these thoughts I try to take that thought captive, give it to the Lord, and say “God, You are greater than this. I do NOT have to accept this feeling, because You led me here, to this exact moment, and You have a plan for me.” Romans 8:28. God uses ALL things for good. And that includes rotten feelings, depression, and the guilt we feel for letting someone down.
But then, there is also another way that satan will try to attack our minds. He will twist the truth ever so slightly to where you accept that as truth and simply move on. Like for example, suffering. Yes, I mean all kinds of suffering, anything from the loss of a loved one, to your own physical ailments. We are in a battle brothers and sisters, and through this battle we will have our crosses to bear, but we DO NOT have to accept those crosses as a forever cross to bear. Our God is greater than our suffering. If you pray to Him in faith and believe He can save you, then He will. Don’t just sit there in agony and say “well… this is my burden that I have to bear then, it hasn’t gotten better now, so I guess it never will…blah blah blah”
I used to believe that lie of the enemy. I have trouble sleeping, and I have some health issues as well. I used to count that as my suffering that I would just have to live with while serving the Lord. But while I was listening to a message the other day, God told me clear as a bell, that He is greater than that. I don’t have to just sit here accepting my lack of sleep and illness as something that’s going to stay with me for life. I fully believe God is capable of healing me. So I will pray and believe that He will. I’m not going to sit here letting satan tell me God can’t, when nothing, I repeat, NOTHING is impossible for God.
Brothers and sisters, let’s take up our crosses each day, yes, and pray that God will relieve us of our burdens in His own timing. It may not happen right away, but it will happen.
God is good, ALL the time.
as one of my leaders here says “Jesus loves you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
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Feb 16, 2011
Yesterday when I was about to go help two friends pack their apartment so they can move to my house on Saturday, I was playing in the garage when I noticed my Rip-Stick. The back wheel is broken, and I need to get it fixed, I showed one of my friends, and then I mentioned that I probably shouldn’t use it till the wheel is fixed, lest I get hurt. Of course, disregarding what I just said, I put it on the ground and went to ride it. The Garage is probably not the best place to use it since the floor is kinda slippery, let alone with a broken wheel. But regardless of all common sense, I decide to try it anyway. What’s the worst that could happen anyway?
I start riding it, and about three seconds later I find myself falling to the floor. SMACK! my knee hits the ground really hard, and the pain shoots up through my arm. Quite a painful experience. After spending a minute on the floor in pain, I try to stand up and head to the car so I can drive over to the apartment. I couldn’t walk on it very well, was glad that I only need my Right leg to drive, and not my left…
Was sorta a funny happening, one of my friends was laughing so hard she started crying. With my broken pride, and throbbing knee, I drive over to the apartment and enjoy laughing at my lack of common sense. It really was quite hilarious, now that I look back on it.
I guess the point of this post is to share with you that before riding your Rip-stick, make sure the wheels are intact and you’re not in the garage. 🙂 But I’m sure you can use your imagination and learn something from this as well. 🙂
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Jan 22, 2011
In prayer meetings we are always hearing about our brothers and sisters over in Asia that are laying down their lives because they refuse to deny God when persecuted. We hear this over and over and over again, and instead of becoming numb to it, it’s making me think. What are we, here in the western world, doing to take up our cross and follow Christ. Sure we aren’t public-ally humiliated and beaten for not denying Christ, but there are so many other ways that we daily choose to deny Him.
I don’t think denying Christ is simply stating that you don’t believe in Him, but I think it happens when we choose something else over Him, when we take His name in vain, when we choose sin over serving Him with our whole hearts. Denying Christ is like we are in love with two things, but we can’t serve two masters. It’s either the world, or God.
I’m not saying I’m perfect, I’m far from it, and it’s so easy to find myself being drawn to what the world has to offer, rather than falling at the feet of God. I think the only way to overcome this, is to simply say no, and put our trust in the Lord. Our brothers and sisters in Asia are doing this daily. They lay down their very lives to NOT deny Christ. Why shouldn’t we? Why not put down the video game, or turn off the music, the TV, and spend more time with God?
This doesn’t mean we can’t do all those things, and it doesn’t mean become legalistic about it. Ask God what it means for you to do this. But I think that if each of us put God first, and ourselves last, we have a much better chance of reaching the lost world for Christ, and serving Him with our whole hearts.
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Jan 20, 2011
A few nights ago, I got woken up by a horrible dream, or so I thought. here’s the journal entry I wrote with the intention of sharing it all with you sometime soon:
“It’s 3:08 AM right now, but as of now, I don’t care. God just spoke to me so vividly through a dream and His Word and I have to share it with you.
Here’s what I dreamed:
I was on vacation, where South Carolina, Pennsylvania and some other state were connected and there was a mini ‘war’ dispute going on between them. But I was on vacation, talking to God the entire time. I rode on my 4 wheeler with a bike strapped to the back and the bare minimum for survival. I had been documenting the whole things with my camera.
I was having a great time on my own, till I got to this spot where I forgot my camera, because I had left it on the 4 wheeler. So I biked as fast as I could back to the 4 wheeler, so I could take a picture of this simply breath taking sight of something I’m not sure how to describe. As I reached the 4 wheeler, I saw a car pull up. I didn’t think anyone knew where I was, so this kind of shocked me a bit, and as I saw who it was in the car, I got kinda happy to see Wendy taking the keys from the ignition. But then I saw the look on her face and immediately my heart dropped.
‘What was wrong? What happened?’ I thought
She walked towards me and from her face, I thought someone had died or something.
Once we were close enough for me to hear her, she said that my brother had been biking to reach some homeless guys when he was hit by a car. He was in the ER now with both kidneys failing, and broken bones all over his body, the doctors weren’t sure if he’d make it.
My heart fell and felt like it had stopped altogether. And then she said something that I didn’t catch at first. Although he was in immense pain and suffering, he was still smiling and saying God has it all under control.
Then I woke up. I wanted to text my mom right away to see if everything was okay. Instead, I prayed about it, meditated on it for about 10-15 minutes. After that, here’s a bit of what I texted to my mom:
‘Hey mommy, just woke up from a dream that really shocked me and made me cry. I woke up from this dream and was thinking about it, trying to get my heart back to a normal pace, I sat up and started wondering why had I dreamed it? Was something really wrong with him that God would place him so strongly on my heart? I don’t know. After praying a bit, I decied to text you to find out what’s up. Is he okay? Are you okay? Is there something more specific I can pray for? I love you both terribly and want nothing more than to hug you both right now and never let go. I’m actually crying a bit right now as I type this because I love you both so much… I’m wondering why God would let me dream so vividly like that. And I think it’s to show how comfortable things can get, and when things are comfy, we forget whats really important in life, things can pass by and we wouldn’t even know. Maybe He was preparing me for a mentality that I have to be okay with giving everything to Him, even the two people in this world I love and cherish the most. I don’t know but I do know that I think I’m ready to surrender all to Him. Not that I want to lose you both, my goodness no. but I have to have the mentality that you and Brandon are bought and paid for, specially made, hand crafted by God and His property. I have to be okay with Him doing His will for your lives, even if it is so hard I cannot bear it on my own. So…this text is really long, Love you guys, praying for you both!’
After that, I couldn’t sleep, so I went to the living room and decided to have quiet time with God. As I was crying to Him, He gave me some verses.
Deuteronomy 4:9 and then Psalm 9
Then I cried and sent my mom more texts. here’s the general message of them:
‘Was I really forgetting all that He has done for me? For you? For Brandon? I never thought I could, and it’s making me cry just thinking that I would forget. How could I forget? HE IS SO GOOD! I never thought it possible…seems I’ve been havig a lot of dreams of Brandon dying or getting so ill I couldn’t help him in my own power…but it took this last time to really open my eyes as to what God had been trying to teach me from it.
Romans 8:28 and that includes dreams'”
Sorry for how long this post is… just wanted to share with you what God’s teaching me right now, and how He’s doing it. 🙂
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Jan 2, 2011
In the Web department, I have been going through a study on 2 Corinthians that Bro KP did in the UK a few years ago so that I can edit them. I’m learning a lot while listening, and it’s rather interesting what they have to say. One of the topics was about money and financial investment in Heaven. And I had the thought:
Storing up our treasures in Heaven. I used to think of actual treasures… like gold, mansions and things that pirates would steal, but I think about it, the most rewarding treasure that I could receive when I get to Heaven is seeing all the lost souls that were impacted by my life in service to God. Worshiping God with them for eternity. That’s the kind of treasure I would like.
Anyway… just food for thought. 🙂
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