I have an independent personality. I’m not saying that I’m rebellious or disobedient (though there have definitely been times those would describe me). I just like to do things myself.
If I can do it well, then let me do it alone. If I think I know how it works, leave me alone and let me work. If I don’t quite know, I’ll get the documentation and figure it out. That is what I have learned about how I work. I didn’t realize any of this before I came to School of Discipleship. I have come to understand just how independent I am since attending this program.
I have learned since being here that I can’t afford to be independent. There are aspects of life that just don’t work doing it alone. I share a house with two great guys, and they are there to help me through my struggles. The days I’m on an emotional roller-coaster, I’ve learned the best help is the help my brothers can offer to me. I used to wade through chest deep problems on my own and tell people I’m fine. I was independent.
When I need advice I’ve learned to ask. I honestly can’t remember ever asking my father for serious life advice. Now I realize that I need advice. God has placed people in my life who know more than I do, or have even gone through the exact same situations. Asking for advice is not something I used to do. I was independent.
The danger of independence is that I could suffocate alone, drown in my own problems, or panic over decisions others have made.
Father keep me dependent.
Empty me of my selfish pride.
And when I am crooked or bent,
Straighten me to be at your side.
Teach me to learn from the others
With whom You’ve surrounded me,
And keep my heart close to my brothers
That my life should be pleasing to Thee.