Aug 5, 2015
Some walk through life in darkness,
Blinded to the truth
Laid so clearly before them.
Their hands are tied,
Their feet in stocks,
Their voices silenced at a glance.
They stumble nearly every step
And find it hard to rise again.
The pain is great,
Their minds are crushed.
Like snakes crawling on the ground
They do not stand
And like a fish,
The ocean is all they ever know.
Others walk through life in light and gladness.
They are ever gazing
Into a beauty only they can see.
Their faith is planted on the truth.
Though they fall,
They rise again.
Their hands are free,
Their feet are dancing,
Their voices shout out songs of praise.
Freedom is their name
And love is their guide.
They are like an eagle
Gazing from a lofty mountain,
Like a bright light that cannot be dimmed.
Each of us have a choice to make before us, it is the choice of submission or rebellion. Those in darkness have chosen the way of rebellion, though they may not have realized it their hearts have been hardened by choosing their own way and now life has fallen from their grasp. But those who live in the light have found the greatest treasure of a heart in submission and brokenness. These are the people that touch godliness and truly experience the wonders and powers of the risen Christ in them.
Recently at School of Discipleship, us students went through a book by K.P. Yohannan, “Touching Godliness”. This book opened my eyes to see how God has created this world to work in submission. He created us dependent on one another and on Him. The authorities He has placed over us are for our own protection and growth. Just like the wild horse is useless to its master, while the broken and submissive horse is of great use to its rider; God can only use the people submitted and broken of their own wills.
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Jun 5, 2015
Have you ever had a time in your life when you felt so stressed out you didn’t know how you were going to make it through?
Or maybe you have just been super worried about some big thing in your life that looks impossible to overcome e or get around. I know I have had to deal with these things before. Worrying doesn’t help anything! Worrying always seems to make the situation look darker and more impossible! Worry takes our focus off of Jesus and puts it on our own life. Worry makes us try to figure everything out ourselves when what we should really be doing is seeking the Lord more! I think that is exactly why the Bible tells us so many times not to worry.
God gives us trials and tribulations to draw us to Him and make us stronger in our faith—not to show us how awesome we are at figuring things out. We are to trust Him in hard times to take care of us, whether everything works out like it is supposed to, or if everything falls apart. This is not an easy thing! For me, I always think I know exactly how everything should go. How arrogant of me! God is faithful; His ways are so much higher than my ways! How could I presume that my plans and my preferences are better than His?
One of my favorite passages in Scripture is Psalm 146. This passage has been a real help to me in the hard times, especially verses 1-6. I encourage you to read this passage next time you start feeling stressed or are tempted to worry. It will be a great help to you!
Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God.
He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— he remains faithful forever. He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free, the Lord gives sight to the blind, the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down, the Lord loves the righteous. The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
The Lord reigns forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations. Praise the Lord.
—Psalm 146:1-6
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Apr 22, 2015
Joseph. Joseph was a dreamer. He had vivid dreams of his family bowing to him. In one dream, he relates in Genesis 37:6-7, ““Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.” This made Joseph’s brothers angry, who were wondering why their youngest brother would dare to say such things.
Not only did Joseph have these vivid dreams, but he was seen as their father’s favorite. Joseph got a coat of many colors from his father. One day, while Joseph was walking to the fields, his brothers began to plot against him. At first they wanted to murder him, but decided against it. Joseph’s brothers decided to sell him to a group of Ishmaelite traders who were heading to Egypt. When the Ishmaelite traders made it to Egypt, Joseph was sold into slavery. There he encountered false accusations by Potiphar’s wife and imprisonment.
His imprisonment was the turning point of his life, even though he was there for four years. After four years, when Pharaoh had a couple of dreams, it was found that Joseph could interpret them. Pharaoh was elated and made him second in command over Egypt in order to store grain for a famine. After this, Joseph’s brothers come back on the scene. His brother couldn’t recognize Joseph at this point. He demands they bring his younger brother Benjamin in order to test them. After a few tests, Joseph reveals himself saying, “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. Now hurry back to my father and say to him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt.’”(Genesis 45:8-9) In other words, everything that happened was for God’s plan to be fulfilled.
In the same way, God allows bad things to happen in our lives in order to fulfill His plans. In 
my own life, God allowed for me to become ill during my first year in the School of Discipleship. I didn’t understand why I had to go home in order to finish the rest of the course. God is starting to use that for His plan. Even though I don’t know completely how God will use my experience to reach others, I can trust God that it will encourage others to keep on going in their year at School of Discipleship and not give up no matter what circumstance they are in. I encourage you to keep going forward in what God has asked you to do. He has your best in mind.
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Mar 10, 2015
I was hungry for Jesus. This was all I knew during my high school and community college days. I was not attracted to degrees or good jobs. I knew they were good and can absolutely be used for God’s glory, but there’s just got to be something more.
When peers or teachers would ask what I want to be or do, what degree I will pursue, I’ve always given a decent reply and tell them what they want to hear; more so, I would reply with what I thought was practical, normal, and good. But deep down in me, I wanted Jesus. There was nothing else that rung louder in my heart than knowing Jesus and serving him.
My sister and I would always talk before bed of a life that meant something. We desired for our futures to be more than being employed to pay for the bills. We knew that whatever is “more” had to do with more of Jesus—whatever profession we take on.
Every time I thought about the future, my future, I knew I wanted to do “great things.” I just did not know what “great things” entailed.
Deep within my soul, I trusted that God was working to fulfill his plans. Oh I was so clueless though! Every school felt too expensive, too far. My dreams of playing music were vague, seemed unrealistic and unpractical.
I read a book called “Revolution in World Missions” in high school. On the very last page was a brochure advertising Gospel for Asia’s School of Discipleship. It included a question very much familiar to the words of Jesus. It read: “Can you die to yourself for a year?” That’s how the Lord introduced me to where I currently am now.
Despite my love for Jesus, I did not want to attend an exclusive Christian college or work at a church or be a pastor. So, I set aside School of Discipleship in the back of my head, thinking that the program was only for those who want to be “in ministry,” which I always thought meant within the walls of a church.
A couple of years later, during college, little did I know that coming to Gospel for Asia would be the plan God had for me.
I was in my room crying to the Father for his will to be done in my life, for Him to take over every aspect of it. I said, “Lord, I don’t really know what I’m praying or asking for. All I know is I want you.”
Sure enough the Lord answered and led me to apply to School of Discipleship.
So now, I’m here! The Lord has provided the funds and support I needed and still is. I still don’t know what I want to be or do. I still feel clueless most of the time. But being here gives me time to seek more of the Father’s heart. Learning about the world around me and its need for Jesus, learning how to pray, digging deeper into God’s holy word, and living with people who live for nothing else but Jesus and His glory, is definitely shedding some light into how I can take God-glorifying steps for the future and more importantly for the now. A lot of my perspectives have changed and are changing. But what better place to be in at such a young age than in Jesus’ hands, listening to Jesus’ advice, and hearing Jesus’ thoughts?
[James 4:13-17]
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Oct 1, 2014
A Wounded Heart’s Reflections on Growing Up
As I was reading a blog recently, I was taken aback by one of the opening statements:
“Most of us had absent fathers.”
Piercing. Piercing, because I am a part of that “most.” I was raised by a very strong and capable woman, was loved and provided for and never wanted for any physical needs, so why, I wonder, do I feel a such a deep void in my life today that stretches back to my childhood?
The answer is simple, but complicated: it’s because dad wasn’t there. Dad, like many men today, was a victim of his own poor upbringing, and through substance abuse, checked out early – way too early. He checked out so early that he never got to see either one of his boys walk an aisle past preschool graduation. He wasn’t there when I had my heart broken for the very first time, when I won my first wrestling match or when I got my driver’s license. He wasn’t there to congratulate me for doing well in school, for making good choices or for getting my first job.
Worst of all, he wasn’t there to show me how to be a man. I never learned what a loving husband looks like, or how a man is supposed to lead his family. So here I am, 18 years after his death wondering,
“What in the world am I supposed to do now?”
Not that I’m married yet, I’m not, but I suspect it’s not far down the road.
Taking nothing away from my mother, who was and continues to be amazing, there are just some things moms aren’t designed to do, and being a dad is one of them. Thankfully, mom was there every time dad wasn’t. My gratitude to God is continually increasing for that.
Dad’s gone. I’ve accepted that. What I’m now trying to accept now is that although I think I’m fatherless, I’m not. I’ve had a Father all along, just one that I can’t see with my physical eyes.
One of my goals coming into my second year of the School of Discipleship was to learn what it means to be a biblical man. I’m in awe of the faithfulness of God not only to put that desire in me, but to father me by teaching me what He has about manhood, and in the process, restoring to me what I’ve missed out on all these years. He’s brought men into my life that are committed to loving and investing in me. God is a God of restoration.
On this short journey, I’ve seen many things that have depressed and elated me. I’ve seen the standard for manhood: Jesus Christ, the perfect man who was tender, yet intrepid. In His zeal for God, he stood against corruption by clearing out swindlers who were defiling God’s house, yet had compassion on all who needed Him. He touched lepers and welcomed children, but didn’t shrink back from the agonizing pain of torture, and selflessly laid His life down for a creation that scorned Him.
That’s a big God.
What are the positives that I’ve seen on this journey? I’ve seen men embrace their role to serve and represent Jesus in their weaknesses and shortcomings, trusting in God to give them the courage they need to do their God-given duties. I’ve seen God respond to that trust by making otherwise incapable men capable of doing great things and commanding great respect from people in the process.
I’ve seen men who love their wives and kids, and demonstrate patience and gentleness with them, which is nothing short of a testimony to God’s power and faithfulness.
On the other hand…
I’ve seen men afraid to embrace their faults and failures and run away from the valorous calling that God gives to all men – to lead, take dominion, and demonstrate God’s strength and love to a hurting world.
I see men in their twenties behaving the way they did in their early teens because there was no man before them to demonstrate godliness.
I’ve seen young men hurt by dads who were there, but weren’t really there. Passivity is the easy thing to do in the home, and sadly, most men that are given responsibility over families have taken that route. I’ve seen men domineered and controlled by their wife or kids because they don’t feel like they’re capable of leading well.
I’ve seen young men find their value in things that aren’t Jesus. They look to young women for affirmation, potentially causing damage to them and the women by not guarding their hearts. They look to friends, to self, but not to Jesus. Insecurity and self-focus abounds as a result, which perpetuates the behavior of looking for value outside of Jesus.
Perhaps the worst part of all of this is when men, both young and old, out of emptiness, longing, and desperation, prey on women or scour the internet to feed their sinful passions. This is the deepest distortion of masculinity known to man – taking what is sacred, and perverting it because of selfish desires. Men, who should be protectors, become the ones who take captives.
May I please humbly say that I am aware of these things because I in some measure represent or am prone to all of them?
Despite fatherlessness devastating a generation, I think God is doing something in the hearts of men today. I believe God is restoring true masculinity to the church by starting with individual men and teaching them to live and to lead their families according to His Word. I believe God is moving in the hearts of men in this generation to give them something to fight for: God’s glory. He’s letting us know that we’re not fatherless. We’re not orphans. We’re sons, because God has adopted us and is recreating us in His image. Our value and worth are in Him, simply because He values us enough to give everything to purchase us (Matthew 13:44-46).
Men, we may be weak, insecure, and afraid, but we are strong, because God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. Our shortcomings aren’t barriers which keep us from Jesus, but are bridges to Him. We were made to fight. We can’t waste our lives on things that don’t matter. We can’t spend ourselves on the metaphors of sports and video games as substitutes for what’s real: struggle, battle, adventure, hard work, and most of all, victory.
Sure, we men try too hard to be strong and pretend like we’ve got it together because most of us are insecure. Am I doing that right now as I write this blog post? Probably, but I’m slowly learning that my strength IS my weakness, because, God’s power is made perfect in my weakness, and even in my failure, He is to be glorified and praised for the mercy and love He shows us, in spite of what we’re not or fail to be.
Please, pray for me, and for all men. Please pray that God would give us grace to humble ourselves and be okay with the fact that in God’s economy, manpower accomplishes nothing. Please pray that God will allow men to see that Jesus is better than anything this world has to offer. Pray that God will allow us to see that His grace is sufficient for us, and that it’s okay to be weak, so long as we never use it as an excuse to justify sin.
By God’s grace, let us be a generation of men who can give to others what wasn’t given to us.
Lord, only You can make a man. I’m just a little boy, but I want to be a man. Would you please do this for your sake, Father, please? Help us to love you and to know that you are better. Our hearts wander and are so easily enraptured by everything except You. Show us how you love us, and show us how to be like You, and to love people like You do. Make men out of this generation of boys who don’t know how to live selflessly and sacrificially. Make us brave in the face of uncertainties and chaos. Teach us how to make order, and teach us to trust you to find the courage we need to move forward, despite not knowing what to expect. We don’t know what we’re doing, Abba. Show us what Jesus did for us, please Lord. For your name’s sake, and for your glory’s sake, Father, please, do this. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
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