Jun 11, 2012
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
I was at Gospel For Asia for a week of interviews. I was confident I was ready to be on staff. Thursday morning I was praying, and God said “Wait.” “Wait? For what? I’ve been waiting for over six months already.”
I went into my last interview with David and he asked me how I felt. I answered “I feel like God is telling me to wait a little longer to get some more life skills.” This answer was not easy. In fact, the whole day I cried about it. I felt like God had abandoned me though, in reality He was a lot closer than I felt at the time.
When I got home, my parents were getting all over me for my decision, just as upset as I felt.
The next couple of weeks were tough. Satan kept on taunting me for the decision, even though my parents came to realize I had made the right decision. I honestly did not feel that way at the time.
During this time God had to keep on reminding that He is in control not me. There were a couple of verses that kept on popping up at the time. The first one was Philippians 3:12-13, where Paul writes about pressing on and keeping our eyes on Jesus despite our difficulties. The other one was Philippians 4, where Paul writes about bringing our prayers to God.
Almost immediately I started looking for jobs. I applied for one job, and I got a rejection letter.
The second job I applied for at a nursing home to do food service. I got an interview for this job.
I was in church this past Sunday, and the pastor did a sermon on Ezekiel 37:1-14 about the valley of dry bones. He talked about how when things seem hopeless God comes and renews us by His spirit. The past two weeks I had felt like a bunch of dry bones walking around. I didn’t know what God wanted me to do next and nothing seemed to be happening.
On Wednesday of this past week, I got a call from the employer from the nursing home I applied for. She wanted to know if I had a third reference, since she couldn’t get a hold of my references. I gave her a name and she said she would call me back after getting a hold of the reference. That same afternoon, I got a phone call asking me to do a drug test the next morning, which I agreed to do.
A few hours after the drug test, I got a phone call. I didn’t get it till around 4:20 when my mom came home because I was in the pool.
I called back once I got it, and found out I was hired for the job at the nursing home.
It is amazing how God has been working this past month. God has taught me so much about contentment and what it means to seek Him.
God knows all our needs and will provide for them in his timing. We just have to continue to seek His kingdom before anything else.
I am thankful to God, because he has given me a job I never expected to have and I’ll get to share His love with the nursing home residents.
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Dec 8, 2011
Last weekend I took two days off. On Sunday, I was getting antsy. I just wanted to run!!!! (That is how I felt) The whole afternoon I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. It is pretty bad when you are having withdrawals from running. That night I couldn’t sleep. I realized I was making running an idol.
God has been teaching me to put him before everything else. Jesus says in Luke 15:26-27, “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparision-your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters-yes, even your own life. Otherwise you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my own disciple.” There are thousands of excuses we can come up with for not seeking the Lord. It could be work, school, running, or a number of other things. These things in the end will not matter. In the end there are two things that will matter. The first is knowing Jesus and having a relationship with Him. The second is telling others about Jesus so they too can have a relationship with God.
So the question for you and me to contemplate is what is holding us back from having a deeper relationship with Him? Are you making an excuse not to know and follow Him above everything else?
Prayer: Father, so many times I fail to put you as the most important thing in my life. Please forgive me for those times I make idols out of the gifts you give me. Help me to seek and follow you above everything else. I ask you would take away my idols and help me to glorify you in everything I do. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
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Aug 17, 2011
“While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jarius, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?” Over hearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid just believe.” Mark 5:21-43
This summer I went into my three month internship with some expectations. Some of them were met, others were not. Having been at Gospel for Asia for a month last year, I did not expect to be out of my comfort zone as much as some of the other interns. Boy, was I wrong.
Everything was going well until one day we went to Celebrate Freedom. There we were to pass out the new No Longer a Slumdog books. To be honest, I was scared and I told another intern straight out, “I don’t think I can do this.” Now, I’ve been at multiple events in the past representing Gospel for Asia but this time I was intimidated because I actually had to STOP people who wouldn’t normally stop at this kind of booth. I was really insecure about this. After our group prayed to God though, it was almost as if He was strengthening all of us to go on and I noticed as my time went on, I became more and more excited about passing out the books.
Once I was in the airport over the July 4th weekend, and I saw this man sitting by himself on the other side of the terminal. God kept on pushing me to go and talk to Him, and each time I said “no” the conviction I needed to go over there got stronger and stronger. Eventually it go so strong, I knew I had to go and talk to him. So I went over and sat with Him and started asking Him some questions. I knew God wanted me to give Him a gospel tract, but I went away before being able to give him a Gospel tract. I was too afraid.
God, as He always does used my failure as a time of teaching. He comforted me saying, saying, “Even though you fail, I still love you.” That really boggled my mind a lot.
Also during this time, I came to the place in Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll where it talked abouat not fearing being the most common command of Jesus. This greatly encouraged me during this time.
I’m still not perfect. God will continue to challenge me to get out my comfort zone, as he challenges all of us in our weaknesses. Yet, one thing I do know, God will work through us as we turn to Him whether through our weakness our strengths.
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Aug 10, 2011
Today I was in the airport flying from my internship with Gospel for Asia. I was observing all the people walking by, and I was thinking “All these people are going to Hell unless they believe in Jesus.” I was too afraid to say anything about it, or to pass out Gospel tracts to the people passing. The first plane I was going to be on got canceled due to technical problems, so I decided to put a Gospel tract on my seat. I hope someone picks it up and comes to know Jesus through it.
Anyway, I got on the plane and I was sitting a woman. I don’t know her name. I started talking to her a little bit just about the weather and about where we came. I sensed God wanted me to give her a Gospel tract, but I kind of brushed it off. She started reading a magazine. Midway through the flight I was still thinking about giving a Gospel tract to her. I excused myself from sharing a Gospel tract at that time, by thinking “I don’t care about sharing the Gospel at this time. I just want to sleep.” So I went to sleep, because I was tired. I woke up, and the thought that I wanted to give her a Gospel tract came back. This was an hour long flight, so at this point I did not have much time to give it to her. So I prayed to God, “Father, please give me an opportunity to share this with her.” Finally at the end I gave the Gospel tract to her and what she said blew me away. It was a Charlie Brown, “What is Christmas all About?” tract and she told me she appreciated it and she would share it with her grandsons.
The reason why I share this, is because often times when I am in a situation where God calls me to share the Gospel with someone I fail a lot. Most of it is due to my self centeredness and not wanting to get out of my comfort zone for the sake of Christ. It is important to remember it is only through Christ’s strength we are able to share the Gospel with others. Without His strength we are not able to do anything and will often times get frightened like I did. It is only when we listen to God’s voice not Satan’s or our own voice we are able to serve Jesus.
I do not want to make the impression we have to go around feeling guilty every time we fail. Those times we fail (even though He has told us to go tell some one), God is so gracious to forgive us time after time. I know God forgives me for those times I have a careless attitude and fail to obey Him. At those times, he picks me back up and tells me to keep going and to fix my eyes on Him. It’s almost as if God breathes His love back into me and empowers me to keep on going.
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