Not much effort is required in distracting me. I most often am distracted in one of two fashions. Number one being, out of the blue or random distractions, and the second being fixated or captivated distractions. Both forms endlessly battle for the steering wheel of my emotions, mind, and will. The devious culprit here recently has been more of the second.
From a young age I have always had a difficult time remaining focused. As a child I was diagnosed with ADHD, which is a common attention deficit disorder in the United States. An overactive imagination was more of the terminology I preferred, nonetheless however, I had a problem. Medicine was recommended, and so I took prescriptions for the disorder most of my childhood and adolescence. The medicine helped tremendously, but I felt like a zombie day in and day out most of my school years. I grew agitated with it and finally was able to quit taking the medicine in my later years of high school. Of course, when I stopped taking the prescriptions I had a higher sensitivity to distraction; I was determined however to live without the medicine. I fared well and completed high school better than I expected.
I still struggle with being distracted, but not so much in the same manner as I did growing up. Since I have come to School of Discipleship, I have noticed the strategy of attack that distractions have assumed, has been more subtle and sneaky in its efforts. Often, it comes in simple everyday day distractions that evolve into unreasonable daydreams. For example, I may see someone working outside from the office window in the web department in which my cubical is placed. The distraction would first begin as a longing to be working in the beautiful sunshine. Once I give into the longing further, that’s when the simple distraction has grown into a head trip. Within minutes, I’m dreaming of a crop lavished farm, front porch sitting, a plain-jane white washed house, watching the sunset with my wife (non-existent at the moment) after fulfilling a hard day’s work. I’m telling you…all the works.
Like the example used, most of my distractions, here recently have a key element constantly present…my future. Anytime I’m deeply lost in a daydream, it’s concerning my future. I have come to the realization, that the enemy is working ever so diligently to bewilder me from what the Lord has for me at this present time.
As this year’s School of Discipleship class is coming to a close within just a few months, I asked God what His next plans were for me were. His answer…to simply trust Him in the everyday acts of obedience He desires of me. Upon feeling that this was all God’s answer was, I became perplexed; I wanted a more definite answer. Despite my own desire, this was the Lord’s plan, and still is. Reluctantly, I decided I would give it a shot. There was a problem however, I never gave up thinking about my future.
I began to look for everyday acts of obedience in which God prompted of me. With each day they came, some different, some the same every day. Something was not right however, I knew I was not doing what God was really asking of me, and that was to stop worrying about my future. As the days went on, I merely acted as if I never heard that command. Of course, in this disobedience it made it nearly impossible to be at peace with God. So, as the days carried on and on I became more and more distracted. The enemy threw every single concern of future my way. Things being a job, dreams and ambitions, and the most notorious distraction of all, for me at least…MARRIAGE. This one has always been a distraction for me, even as a kid. Romance is ever present in my mind; indeed, it is a strong burning desire. But God had His answer: “Stop worrying about your future and trust Me. Quit asking me what’s next. Focus on finishing your year and pursue Me and nothing else.”
Now its April, and farther and farther I have grown from the Lord. As I mentioned earlier in this paper, my School of Discipleship year is coming to a close…is this really how I want to finish it off, on bad terms with my Father? This is something I will have to allow Him to break me in. My advice to whoever may be reading this: be cautious of worldly distractions. We face them every day, and frankly, we will fall into them, we’re not perfect. However brothers and sisters, keep your eyes peeled for distractions big and small. Remember, the little ones can evolve into large ones as well. Pray constantly that God would make clear the distractions in your life and obey when He shows you. Pray for me too.