Lately I’ve felt tired. Not just tired physically, as that is fairly normal in my life; but tired emotionally, spiritually, and mentally as well. So on all fronts. It’s not very encouraging. Although this is how I am feeling, I can see God’s faithfulness through it all. No matter how far I fall, God is always there to pick me up again, dust me off, and let me know that He’s there if I want to depend on Him. Thing is, I don’t depend on Him enough. I want to, and in my head I know that is what I should be doing, but I find it hard to trust God with EVERY aspect of my life. Which is silly; who am I to NOT trust the God of the universe, that cares about me so tremendously that He chose me; to serve Him with my life? He gave me my life, why shouldn’t I stop doing, and give that life back to Him to use as He pleases?

Today I was working on assembling a 1000 piece puzzle my mom got me for Christmas. It’s a tough puzzle, and hard for me to zip through like I normally do with puzzles. And as I was mulling over my thoughts of how tired I am, and how God has ALWAYS proven faithful to me, He gave me a thought. I had thought about it before, but I never put two and two together. Life is like a complicated puzzle. Can be frustrating, tough, and down-right tiring. Not to mention you can’t tell how this mess of pieces will fit together to make the promised image at the end. You just have to trust that as one piece at a time is placed in it’s rightful place, the end image will be, in my case, Starry Night by Van Gogh.

Life is like that. A big messy puzzle. As God places each of the scattered and broken pieces of my life (mind, body, spirit) back together, I have to trust that the end image will be like He promises in His Word (Phil 1:6-11, Col 2:10-14, Heb 13:20-21, etc). Even though all I see is each teeny tiny piece that is being placed, how strange and kinda ugly it looks incomplete, I can trust God. He sees the whole picture. He knows what it will look like in the end. All I need to “do” is stop worrying, stop trying to prove myself, stop trying to work in my own strength and believe God’s promises. I need to stop looking at all the empty parts in the puzzle of my life and start looking again at what God has brought me through, what He’s already built in my life. I can praise Him for that. That little bit of the full picture I see, I can praise Him that He will complete it. That the end result is something that I can’t even begin to imagine in the best of my creative thoughts.

How great is our God that He cares enough to put together my life! I need to stop telling Him where to put the puzzle pieces, stop telling Him not to place a piece in certain places, and I need to stop trying to put together my own puzzle! What chaos would it be if the puzzle I was working on, had a mind of it’s own and tried to put itself together?! It’s be a mess! I’d have to take pieces out, to place the correct pieces in. I’d move things around, and if the puzzle kept trying to “help” me, I’d probably get frustrated with it and give up! Thank the Lord that He doesn’t give up on me. So often I feel like that rebellious puzzle that tries to assemble itself without really knowing where pieces go, but so certain they go in this specific spot. Sometimes I’m so certain that a piece goes in one place that I’ll mush it till it fits, and then maybe glue it so it’s more secure. But that makes for a more painful “fix” for me when God comes in to put that piece where it really belongs.

I need to let God put my puzzly life together, and get out of the way.

Anyway, that’s my head at the moment. Thanks for reading.