A few nights ago, I got woken up by a horrible dream, or so I thought.  here’s the journal entry I wrote with the intention of sharing it all with you sometime soon:

“It’s 3:08 AM right now, but as of now, I don’t care. God just spoke to me so vividly through a dream and His Word and I have to share it with you.

Here’s what I dreamed:

I was on vacation, where South Carolina, Pennsylvania and some other state were connected and there was a mini ‘war’ dispute going on between them. But I was on vacation, talking to God the entire time. I rode on my 4 wheeler with a bike strapped to the back and the bare minimum for survival. I had been documenting the whole things with my camera.

I was having a great time on my own, till I got to this spot where I forgot my camera, because I had left it on the 4 wheeler.  So I biked as fast as I could back to the 4 wheeler, so I could take a picture of this simply breath taking sight of something I’m not sure how to describe. As I reached the 4 wheeler, I saw a car pull up. I didn’t think anyone knew where I was, so this kind of shocked me a bit, and as I saw who it was in the car, I got kinda happy to see Wendy taking the keys from the ignition. But then I saw the look on her face and immediately my heart dropped.

‘What was wrong? What happened?’ I thought

She walked towards me and from her face, I thought someone had died or something.

Once we were close enough for me to hear her, she said that my brother had been biking to reach some homeless guys when he was hit by a car. He was in the ER now with both kidneys failing, and broken bones all over his body, the doctors weren’t sure if he’d make it.

My heart fell and felt like it had stopped altogether. And then she said something that I didn’t catch at first. Although he was in immense pain and suffering, he was still smiling and saying God has it all under control.

Then I woke up. I wanted to text my mom right away to see if everything was okay. Instead, I prayed about it, meditated on it for about 10-15 minutes. After that, here’s a bit of what I texted to my mom:

‘Hey mommy, just woke up from a dream that really shocked me and made me cry. I woke up from this dream and was thinking about it, trying to get my heart back to a normal pace, I sat up and started wondering why had I dreamed it? Was something really wrong with him that God would place him so strongly on my heart? I don’t know.  After praying a bit, I decied to text you to find out what’s up. Is he okay? Are you okay? Is there something more specific I can pray for? I love you both terribly and want nothing more than to hug you both right now and never let go. I’m actually crying a bit right now as I type this because I love you both so much… I’m wondering why God would let me dream so vividly like that. And I think it’s to show how comfortable things can get, and when things are comfy, we forget whats really important in life, things can pass by and we wouldn’t even know. Maybe He was preparing me for a mentality that I have to be okay with giving everything to Him, even the two people in this world I love and cherish the most. I don’t know but I do know that I think I’m ready to surrender all to Him. Not that I want to lose you both, my goodness no. but I have to have the mentality that you and Brandon are bought and paid for, specially made, hand crafted by God and His property. I have to be okay with Him doing His will for your lives, even if it is so hard I cannot bear it on my own. So…this text is really long, Love you guys, praying for you both!’

After that, I couldn’t sleep, so I went to the living room and decided to have quiet time with God. As I was crying to Him, He gave me some verses.

Deuteronomy 4:9 and then Psalm 9

Then I cried and sent my mom more texts.  here’s the general message of them:

‘Was I really forgetting all that He has done for me? For you? For Brandon? I never thought I could, and it’s making me cry just thinking that I would forget. How could I forget? HE IS SO GOOD! I never thought it possible…seems I’ve been havig a lot of dreams of Brandon dying or getting so ill I couldn’t help him in my own power…but it took this last time to really open my eyes as to what God had been trying to teach me from it.

Romans 8:28 and that includes dreams'”

Sorry for how long this post is… just wanted to share with you what God’s teaching me right now, and how He’s doing it. 🙂