Nov 28, 2011
Ok, so there’s this proverb that says to go to the ant, consider her ways and be wise. (Proverbs 6:6) I’ve been “blessed” to have much occasion to practice this. I’m overseas right now and often entertain the little critters.
Did you know that there are ants in every continent? In fact, the only way to escape them is to go to certain parts of Antarctica (ironic, right?). 😉 As one brother here pointed out recently, the above-mentioned proverb is addressed to sluggards, and God knew there would be lazy people all over the world. So He used the ant as an illustration that all could see! I’ve actually been learning good stuff from their principles of work and discipline. But this evening I gleaned a different lesson.
I’ve been having a problem with a strange-looking bee in my bathroom lately. He started building a nest behind the hot-water heater. When I would get up to get ready for work, he’d already be up and working. You can laugh at me, but I’d go to brush my teeth and then run out and shut the door fast when I heard him buzzing. I’d finish brushing in my bedroom, pop back in to spit and then hurry out again! (Wondering what in the world this has to do with ants? Just wait.)
Finally I got around to telling someone who could help. They came while I was gone for work today. When I came back to my room this evening, the nest was effectively destroyed, but the place was crawling with hundreds or thousands of tiny ants! Some of them were after the prize of what I think was the remains of the dead bee. I’m not sure what the rest were doing. So I started sweeping, focusing on getting the treasured bug-remains out of the way. (In my dealings with ants, I’ve learned to remove what they’re attracted to. Then they’ll leave on their own.) They scattered and things calmed down. I was pretty happy with myself. And since I was already into it, I decided to clean the bathroom.
All of a sudden I realized that the stubborn little things hadn’t actually left. “Aiyo!” I said, using the local exclamation roughly translated, “Oh man!” The ants had migrated to a corner connecting two walls and were all concentrated there. They looked like they were strategizing about how to react to my original attack. Now what? I didn’t want to sweep them to the floor because it was now wet since I was cleaning. (Besides, I really don’t like them crawling on me with their ticklish feet!) I thought about drowning them (sorry to any insect fans out there), but was a lot of ants to send down the drain. Too many. Again, laugh if you will, but I started blowing in the direction I wanted them to go (out). The airstream scared them and after the ensuing chaos, they eventually all left.
After all that, here’s the lesson. It has to do with something I read yesterday in a chapter of Incredible Christian by A.W. Tozer. He writes, “The devil’s master strategy for us Christians then is not to kill us physically…but to destroy our power to wage spiritual warfare.” In other words, the enemy doesn’t necessarily want us to be dead, just out of his territory. Like I didn’t care so much about killing the ants – I just wanted them OUT! So, I removed their motivation and put pressure on them to leave. The devil uses similar tactics. He makes us think that there’s no reward. We feel dry spiritually so we considering quitting. We don’t want to keep trying. Or pressure comes; circumstances discourage us and make us want to leave.
Unlike those pesky ants though, we do have a reason to stay in the battle. Glory and honor await those who do. Keep going, it’s worth it! I will conclude with Tozer’s closing thought; “the cost of quitting will be a life of peaceful stagnation. We sons of etenity just cannot afford such a thing.”
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Oct 4, 2011
Grace.
As God has been unveiling a tiny piece of the beauty and magnificence surrounding such an intangible concept, I sit awe-struck in the stands. It’s so incomprehensible that all of humanity can’t wrap their minuscule brains around it. It’s so beautiful. So totally unexpected in the story of mankind throughout history. It’s so beyond us, far above anything we could have ever come up with.
I mean, really, would you have come up with the concept of ‘grace?’ Treat un-respectable people with respect. Treat unloving people with love. Treat anti-God people with the gift of God. Our whole flesh nature cries out for justice, for fairness, for consequences and rewards. At least most of us can understand the concept of sin and the separation of unholy beings from a Holy God. That makes logical sense — if we are willing to admit it.
But Grace? It’s a twist in the entire plot. It’s a fourth dimension exploding our three-dimension world.
Stooping down to lift us up out of our sinful humanity, our utter depravity, our desperate rebellion. Releasing us from our sin, by taking our place so we would have the option to never pay the PENALTY. Forever.
That astounding mercy is great enough. But Grace doesn’t stop.
Letting us out of our dungeon. Forever. To be free from the PROBLEM of sin and live in HIS FREEDOM.
Wow. And Grace keeps going.
Welcoming our filthy existence daily into HIS PRESENCE.
BAM! Even if I could possibly comprehend the cross, I would never imagine in a million years that He would ever want to see us again. Saving from sin, maybe, but saving us to Himself? I mean, really? Daily put up with us?
Not only that, but ADOPTING us as HIS CHILDREN. Identifying HIS holy and precious name with our dragged-in-the-mud title.
It gets better. The privilege and honor of Him COMMISSIONING us to be HIS IMAGE-BEARERS to a lost world. Flat out GIVING His precious name to US. Wow. What responsibility and trust.
And not only that, but promising to GO WITH US, to DWELL INSIDE US and be our STRENGTH, our INNER CORE, our PROTECTION, and our GRACE TO OTHERS.
We can’t even give others grace. We have to borrow His grace to give. Get that.
In class this summer, one of the girls repeated a quote from the book we’re reading through: “Love that goes upward is worship; love that goes outward is affection; love that stoops is grace.”
I attached to this quote, but something about it rubbed me wrong. And then I realized: it correctly defined what I give others as Not Grace. Hardly affection, at best. Often more bordering worship. I love in order to be loved.
The reason is because I’m not stooping. I’m on the same level as the rest of humanity. Each one of us, made in Christ’s image. Each one of us, blind and desperate without Him. I deserve nothing, so can’t demand any rights to be respected by others. The love I give others is usually barely that. Selfish love. Not grace.
Only God truly gives Grace.
And maybe that’s why it remains so pure, marvelous, and beyond my wildest dreams.
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Aug 17, 2011
“While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jarius, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?” Over hearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid just believe.” Mark 5:21-43
This summer I went into my three month internship with some expectations. Some of them were met, others were not. Having been at Gospel for Asia for a month last year, I did not expect to be out of my comfort zone as much as some of the other interns. Boy, was I wrong.
Everything was going well until one day we went to Celebrate Freedom. There we were to pass out the new No Longer a Slumdog books. To be honest, I was scared and I told another intern straight out, “I don’t think I can do this.” Now, I’ve been at multiple events in the past representing Gospel for Asia but this time I was intimidated because I actually had to STOP people who wouldn’t normally stop at this kind of booth. I was really insecure about this. After our group prayed to God though, it was almost as if He was strengthening all of us to go on and I noticed as my time went on, I became more and more excited about passing out the books.
Once I was in the airport over the July 4th weekend, and I saw this man sitting by himself on the other side of the terminal. God kept on pushing me to go and talk to Him, and each time I said “no” the conviction I needed to go over there got stronger and stronger. Eventually it go so strong, I knew I had to go and talk to him. So I went over and sat with Him and started asking Him some questions. I knew God wanted me to give Him a gospel tract, but I went away before being able to give him a Gospel tract. I was too afraid.
God, as He always does used my failure as a time of teaching. He comforted me saying, saying, “Even though you fail, I still love you.” That really boggled my mind a lot.
Also during this time, I came to the place in Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll where it talked abouat not fearing being the most common command of Jesus. This greatly encouraged me during this time.
I’m still not perfect. God will continue to challenge me to get out my comfort zone, as he challenges all of us in our weaknesses. Yet, one thing I do know, God will work through us as we turn to Him whether through our weakness our strengths.
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Jul 12, 2011
It has been too long since I’ve posted a blog but I wanted to share a big thing God is teaching me through His Word in the book of 1 Samuel. I decided I wanted to do a character study on King David. But I don’t like topical studies as much and instead wanted to just read through 1 and 2 Samuel. But along the way, the Lord has changed my plans and instead I found myself looking at all of the other characters, including King Saul.
This book shows us that both King David and Saul started good, humble and young. Its the same when God callers us into the ministry, we started good, young, humble and full of zeal and passion and eager to do whatever God would have us do and to joyfully do what those above us ask of us. At least, this was how it was for me!
You probably know the story…Israel was a theocracy (God was their King and ruler). They rejected God as their king and wanted to be like all of the other nations who had kings. So God gave them what they wanted and gave them King Saul, Israel’s first king. He was not God’s idea for a king…he was what the people wanted so God gave them what they wanted. But it would cause problems and a downfall of the nation Israel into evil, corruption and all kinds of problems.
After Samuel’s anointing of Saul to be king, in 1 Samuel 9:21 it says, “Saul answered, “But am I not a Benjamite, from the smallest tribe of Israel and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin? Why do you say such a thing to me?”
As it came time for Saul to be chosen among the tribes as King over Israel, they tried to bring him out to show the people but he was not found. Finally, with the help of the Lord, the Lord showed them that he has been hiding among the baggage (paraphrased from 1 Samuel 10:20-22)
Those two passages show Saul was a humble man. The Lord was also with Saul and Saul had the Lord’s anointing on his life. This to me sounds like an awesome beginning for the leader of Israel and to lead the nation in godliness.
He started out so good! But it didn’t continue like that nor did it finish that way. Saul’s first act of unbelief and disobedience came when he waited for Samuel to come bring a burnt and fellowship offering. But after 7 days (the time set by Samuel) he took the role of priest into his own hands and offered up the burnt and fellowship offerings. Samuel finally came and upon seeing what Saul had done, he rebuked him and called him foolish. Because of this, God rejected Saul as king and Samuel declared his unfitness to being Israel’s King. From here, Saul went down hill.
Later on, Saul was commanded by the Lord to go completely kill the Amalekites because of what they had done to Israel. First of all, something I never thought of before is that the Amalikites is a picture of our flesh. God commanded Saul to completely take them out and leave nothing alive. In the same way, God calls for us to completely kill and crucify our flesh and leave no room for it. Saul disobeyed and spared some of the animals including King Agag, the Amalikite king. In this way, we are not told to change our flesh, reform it or in some ways spare certain parts of our flesh…we’re told to completely kill it! This was just a side thought!
Upon Saul’s disobedience to completely wipe out the Amalikites, Samuel approaches Saul with rebuke and says in 1 Samuel 15:17, “Although you were once small in your eyes, did you not become the head of the tribes of Israel? The Lord anointed you as king over Israel.” That verse shows that Saul was once humble and small but is no longer. You see Saul then voicing a confession and repentance but I don’t believe it’s sincere, but rather that he’s trying to defend his position, title and fame as he says in 1 Samuel 15:30, “I have sinned. But please honor me before the elders of my people and before Israel;come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord your God.” Saul goes down hill and the Lord’s anointing and spirit left him. God had sought after a man after His own heart who would then be king of Israel, this being David a young shepherd boy.
As Saul grew to know David he saw that David was met with more success then Saul and his name became well known (1 Sam 18:30). In 1 Sam 18:20 it says, “Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” And from that time on, Saul kept a jealous eye on David.”
1 Samuel 18:12- “Saul was afraid of David, because the Lord was with David but had left Saul.” Saul was afraid of losing his position as king and someone else taking that spot.
As this story of Saul goes on, he gets worse and worse and spends the rest of his life bent on killing and getting David. He became jealous, took his eyes off God, and tried to defend his kingship!
Looking at my life I see that in many ways in ministry I have been a Saul at times. I’ve started out good and humble but I’ve found myself jealous of another brother or sister’s success and I’ve been worried about going to a different department in the ministry and I’ve been worried and jealous about someone else taking my position in my department. I have struggled with this and one day it got the worst of me and found myself falling, emotionless but yet just wanting to cry and I had to step out. Thankfully this hadn’t led to bitterness, anger and revenge like it did to Saul. I’ve been praying every day that I would stay humble and rejoice in others successes. Later on, God showed me that it was He that humbled me because of my pride and desiring position and defending it and being jealous of others’ positions and successes.
Thank the Lord he protected me and my heart as I gave it up to him and now it’s so freeing to be able to work together with my brothers and sisters at GFA with no hard feelings of bitterness and jealousy of their position or success. The Lord is the one who puts people in positions and makes people successful…I’ve been learning to praise and thank God for this! We’re a family and we’re the body of Christ but I find myself being like Saul or being like the 12 disciples and trying to be the greatest, when instead we should rejoice and praise God for each others’ positions and successes in the ministry and work together in love and unity realizing that God has everyone in the place He desires for them at the time. Maybe someday God will raise me but I must be faithful in the ministry to where He has me now! There’s freedom in this! After all, it’s God’s ministry and in the process of reaching the lost in Asia He gets all the glory!
We see that King David sinned badly and made huge mistakes such as murder and committing adultery. But after all this, God still kept him as King and called him a man after his own heart and even made Jesus come through his family line. Why did David still have this? Because even in his faults and failings, he still allowed God to work with him and he sincerely repented and chased God’s will, didn’t defend his kingship, unlike Saul who was the opposite! Ultimately, Saul dies and falls on the sword…such a wasted life to someone who started out good, humble and had so much potential!
So, it’s not about how good we start, it’s about how well we finish! This to me has been a warning to my heart which has helped me to stay in the ministry, following God with all my heart! I’ve been praying and desiring to stay humble and therefore I believe God has given me practical situations to practice it and it’s been a struggle, but He never gives more than we can handle!
I could go on and on about this topic and all the things God is showing me through his word. Praise God!
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May 6, 2011
I’ve been learning a lot about God lately. So I’d like to share with you what that happens to be. It is still a forming thought, and emotion, and understanding of God, but that doesn’t mean I can’t share it with you all. If you’ve learned this, or have something to add as well, please comment. 🙂
I have had a lot of messed up ideas and thoughts about what love is, how it applies to me, how it should flow through me to others, and God’s unfailing, unconditional love. God has as He promised used everything for good –  Romans 8:28.
There are still scars in my heart that are in the mending process. Therefore, knowing that my view of love was messed up, I decided to go through the Bible from the viewpoint of God’s love and how He expresses it, all the while praying for God’s love to fill me and overflow on others around me.
God has been so faithful! Each time I read His Word, I see time and time again, either His patience with the Israelites (who I tend to replace with myself as I tend to do a lot of the same things they do), or the way Jesus interacted with others through His time here on earth, and also through David’s love of God and vice versa in the Psalms. He’s rebuilding the passion and love and such that I’ve longed for, for Him. And through the love He’s building in me for Him, I am learning how to love others with that same love that dwells inside me. It seems so natural to do!
After I realized that, I started praying for Him to rebuild my view of what a father is like. Because I never had the correct perspective. But God is my Father, and He treats me as such. and so He’s been showing me, through His love, and through filling me with Him, and through blessing me in relating to me on my level (through nature, what I see, observe, and hear, etc.) that I now know what a Father is supposed to look like.
He’s slowly making me more childlike in faith, believing for the impossible, knowing and fully believing that He can do it all. He’s my super hero (cliche, I know, but like a child looks up to their Daddy as being able to do ANYTHING, that’s how I’m seeing God; and unlike an earthly father, God can actually do it!). It’s sooooooo simple, but I made it more complex than it needs to be!
anyway…. still a work in progress but wanted to share it with y’all. Please comment on this! I wanna see how God is working in your lives in this way as well! See what you have discovered about our Daddy, what you’ve learned of His love, and how He flows from you to others around you.
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