Jun 21, 2013
The Lord has definitely been trying to teach me different things since I have been in Stoney Creek serving as a student for Gospel for Asia. The staff people had said that I (as a student), would have to learn to die to myself but I didn’t really think a whole lot about it until I was actually into the program. It was then that I noticed that God wanted me to give up everything! My plans, my ways of doing things, and my will is what I needed to learn to totally submit to God. Praise the Lord that He is working in my life in that area, not that I have achieved everything but I am getting there!
God has been teaching me that I need to pray more. I need to be a person that is totally devoted to praying for others and not just me. I need to be praying for the nations around me and for those in other countries. I want to have more of a passion and a burden for the lost souls around me. I never realized until I came to Gospel For Asia that there was so many people that have never heard the Gospel of Jesus being preached. They have never even heard of His Name! That’s something that was very shocking to me! I really appreciate at Gospel For Asia that they have so many prayer times together. They take the time to pray and stand in the gap for these nations. They are definitely a praying people! “Lord, help me to be more of a prayer warrior.”
Another thing that God wants to teach me is to be more encouraging to people. I have been a fairly negative person in the past but I am seeking to change that. By God’s grace I will seek to encourage others in their walk with the Lord instead of putting them down. I want others to lift me up especially when I am struggling and so I need to do that for others as well.
I believe that the Lord has so much more that He wants to teach me this year while I’m at the School of Discipleship here at Gospel for Asia. Please pray for me that I will be open to the Spirit’s leading and that He will work marvelously in my life. Pray that I will go home a changed person (for the better) and that I will become the man of God that He wants me to be.
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Jun 21, 2013
There are SO many different types, or facets, of fear…there’s the fear that comes to me when I see a spider crawling towards me, the fear that grips me when I know I’ve done something wrong and must suffer the consequencs, the fear when I know I need to do something but I’m scared of what will happen after…the fear of losing someone I love, or of leaving someone or something that I love, the fear of change and fear of the unknown.
This year I’ve been faced with my fears in those areas and more – and let me tell you, my knee-jerk reaction is to curl up in a corner and plug my ears and shut my eyes and wait till things are “better” again…even if means avoiding and prolonging the inevitable. But the Lord has shown me that not only is that EXTREMELY unhealthy for my sanity and sense of reality, it’s dangerous to my spiritual growth and my relationship with Him.
You see, when I choose to allow the strong emotion of fear to creep up my backbone, it means I’m not trusting God. I’m not trusting the Creator who made me with brown eyes and brown hair and size 7.5 feet. Who knows every hair on my head. Who has kept track of every tear I’ve ever cried. Who has written the story of my life and knows how it (and I) will end.
Okay, yeah yeah, we’ve all heard this…do not fear, trust in God. But it isn’t easy, is it? When you’re in the moment, it’s insanely easy to accept that fear without thinking twice about it. It’s naturaly to us. Because we are naturally fearful and untrusting creatures. And that’s where Christ comes in!! Because of His death on the cross for our sins, He delivered us from sin and that includes the sin giving into fleshly fears and not trusting God. As believers with the Spirit of God living within us, we HAVE the power to not fear. We have the power to choose to trust God.
I’m reminded of Ruth. I just love her story! She chose to enter a life full of unknowns and potential uh-oh’s, and she did it boldly. Yeah, maybe she was nervous, but I don’t think she was fearful, at least not from what the Bible says. She put her trust in the Lord, and He pulled through for her. Because He’s God…He isn’t like a mischievous sibling who says he’s going to catch you when you jump off the steps and then backs up and lets you fall at the last second. Yet we act like He’s that way all the time.
So, next time you’re in a situation where fear is threatening to cloud your mind and overcome you with stress and doubts and what-if’s, hold onto the promises of the Lord – hold on to TRUTH when the enemy wants you to believe lies. Truths like He will never leave you or forsake you (Deut. 31:8) (Heb 13:5), and Psalm 139, where David talks about how intimately the Lord knows us and protects us. Psalm 23 – our good Shepherd is with us even in the valley of the shadow of death. It takes a conscious effort on our part, for sure! But it is possible to live a life free from fear. Except, of course, when it comes to spiders…in my case at least. 😛
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Jun 18, 2013
Two questions that have challenged my heart recently are these:
- Do I try to please God by what I do for Him?
- Do I try to live my own life by my own power?
These were questions my pastor asked during the Easter Sunday service, but they are things that God has already started working on in my life.
I can get really preoccupied with shallow, surface things. How do I look, what food am I eating, what do people think of me? I can get so caught up in appearing to live the perfect Christian life – and I am trying to do it in my own fleshly strength. I guess that’s where those two questions begin to fit together.
During this year as a School of Discipleship student, God has been teaching me about what it means to live for Him. It’s about who I am. Living for Jesus starts first of all with knowing Jesus more fully. When that is the cornerstone my life is built upon, then living for Jesus will come naturally. The fruit of my life will show that I’m rooted and built upon Christ.
Trying to “do things for God” with my own effort will get me nowhere, like a car stuck in a rut spinning its wheels. If I just strive in my fleshly strength to live for God, I’ll never achieve it.
Being a Christian, a follower of Christ, starts with knowing and loving Jesus fully and intimately. Living for Him (and working, serving, discipling, and loving) needs to come out of that first love, and it can be done – through the power of the Holy Spirit.
These are the questions I need to ask myself now:
- Am I seeking to know Jesus intimately?
- Do I desire for Jesus to work in and through me, or am I still grasping for “control”?
- Is my focus on myself, or on Jesus?
As I learn more about Jesus, one thing is standing out to me especially. Taking on the nature of Jesus in my own life is impossible when I try to accomplish it in my own strength. It is possible through the power of the Holy Spirit! His work in my life and heart make this goal achievable – this goal of knowing Jesus more, being like Him, and living for Him.
“…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6
When I started following Christ, God began to work in my life, transforming me more into the image of Christ. And God’s promise to me is that He is still at work in me, and He won’t stop working until He’s finished.
And it’s pretty cool to have one year set aside to get to know Jesus more, and to do it with awesome people like my School of Discipleship classmates.
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Jun 17, 2013
Easter Sunday my Sunday School teacher and friend asked me “How was your week?”
The answer to this question had lingered on my mind in the previous days. An overview of my week would be I had been sick, ending my week with a terrible headache. It’s one of those headaches where the turn of the head can result in a drumming session between the skull. Combine that with, well a very rude and demeaning customer and a perpetual mess at work. Then top it off with the usually responsibility of school and a car that is useless due to a dead transmission and you have my week.
So how did I answer my friend?
“Circumstantially it was one of the worst weeks I have had in a long time, but I was great because God is good”
It wasn’t one of those responses in which you are trying to convince yourself that it WILL all be okay. Reality is I have no clue what is going to happen. I am the cliché poor college student with no material resources at my disposal. BUT with all that staring me in the face I have total peace.
This my friend did not happen as a result of me. The end of February beginning of March was actually a really stressful time. I was worried about soooooooo many things and how I was going to pay for them all and get them all done. One day God asked me “Why don’t you trust me?”
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm (que crickets).That is a very good question. I had absolutely no reason not to. He has proven Himself faithful time and time again. DUH you are being a big fat FOOL. I realized not trusting God was so very wrong and I asked for forgiveness and strength. I couldn’t do all I needed to do alone.
As the weeks passed by, God was showing me just how trustworthy He was and one day my professor at TMC said something that made it all clear to me.
In the Bible there are two kinds of peace. Both involve you and me and both involve God.
Romans 5:1 talks about the first peace; Peace with God. This we obtain through faith in Christ and it means that we no longer have to fear the wrath of God because of our sin. Christ took it we are redeemed.
Philippians 4:7 talks about the second; peace of God. This peace comes from God and it is a Christian calm that springs from the confidence that our resources in Christ are adequate.
I already had the peace with God, but I was struggling to live my life in light of the fact that I could live with the peace of God.
It hit me like a refreshing freeing wave of God’s love, provision, gentleness and power! My resources amount to zip, but because I am in Christ my resources are from Him, and they are adequate.
So I have no car, no money and I will return to work and deal with angry people, BUT The peace of God reigns in my heart. And these circumstances are an honor and blessing because though they are hard, they bring me closer to God, give me a chance to glorify His name, and in turn strengthen my character.
The world may look at it the result of a crummy life on earth but that is exactly what it is not and that my friends gives me every reason to rejoice!
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Jun 11, 2012
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
I was at Gospel For Asia for a week of interviews. I was confident I was ready to be on staff. Thursday morning I was praying, and God said “Wait.” “Wait? For what? I’ve been waiting for over six months already.”
I went into my last interview with David and he asked me how I felt. I answered “I feel like God is telling me to wait a little longer to get some more life skills.” This answer was not easy. In fact, the whole day I cried about it. I felt like God had abandoned me though, in reality He was a lot closer than I felt at the time.
When I got home, my parents were getting all over me for my decision, just as upset as I felt.
The next couple of weeks were tough. Satan kept on taunting me for the decision, even though my parents came to realize I had made the right decision. I honestly did not feel that way at the time.
During this time God had to keep on reminding that He is in control not me. There were a couple of verses that kept on popping up at the time. The first one was Philippians 3:12-13, where Paul writes about pressing on and keeping our eyes on Jesus despite our difficulties. The other one was Philippians 4, where Paul writes about bringing our prayers to God.
Almost immediately I started looking for jobs. I applied for one job, and I got a rejection letter.
The second job I applied for at a nursing home to do food service. I got an interview for this job.
I was in church this past Sunday, and the pastor did a sermon on Ezekiel 37:1-14 about the valley of dry bones. He talked about how when things seem hopeless God comes and renews us by His spirit. The past two weeks I had felt like a bunch of dry bones walking around. I didn’t know what God wanted me to do next and nothing seemed to be happening.
On Wednesday of this past week, I got a call from the employer from the nursing home I applied for. She wanted to know if I had a third reference, since she couldn’t get a hold of my references. I gave her a name and she said she would call me back after getting a hold of the reference. That same afternoon, I got a phone call asking me to do a drug test the next morning, which I agreed to do.
A few hours after the drug test, I got a phone call. I didn’t get it till around 4:20 when my mom came home because I was in the pool.
I called back once I got it, and found out I was hired for the job at the nursing home.
It is amazing how God has been working this past month. God has taught me so much about contentment and what it means to seek Him.
God knows all our needs and will provide for them in his timing. We just have to continue to seek His kingdom before anything else.
I am thankful to God, because he has given me a job I never expected to have and I’ll get to share His love with the nursing home residents.
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