Oct 1, 2012
Dear brothers and sisters,
Something has been tugging on my heart for a long while, and I feel that I should share it with you all. See, I believe and have a relationship with the one God who loves, heals, and delivers. Through my walk with Him, I have gone through valleys, and mountains, but in all of it I can see His faithfulness, and He has never once failed me. He is the only One on whom I can depend in any circumstance, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love the Lord.
The Lord has been with me through rain and shine, and has never left my side. Yes there have been times when I have been so focused on myself that I couldn’t feel Him with me, but in faith I pressed on and sure enough, once I refocused on Him, our relationship dove deeper than before. God is love…and because He is love, this means that He fits the description of what love is from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always persevered. Love never fails.”
Now, you may be wondering, “what about that has been tugging on your heart?” Well, I’m glad you asked! For one, I may have discovered this life-changing (not to be cliché) relationship, but SO many others have rejected it. Now, I’m not writing this newsletter story to condemn any of you, or to make you feel guilty, but what would I be if I didn’t share this with you? It would be like eating your favorite dessert in front of you, and not offering you any of it. Or if you had cancer, and I had the cure, but was selfish and kept it for myself instead of helping you. That would be wrong wouldn’t it?
So what brought on this topic, at this time, after so many previous newsletters that I’ve written? Recently I have had the opportunity to share my faith with my friend back in Pennsylvania (I’ll name him Freddy) who was/is going through a rather difficult time. See, he is looking for love, for someone to be there for him, and since there seemed to be no one who fit that idea, he wanted to end his life. This was the first time that I had ever been through something quite as life/death as this. But you see, God used me and another friend here at GFA to reach out to Freddy and because Freddy finally listened, he is still alive today. No, he didn’t accept the love of Jesus who is right there waiting for Freddy to open his heart to it, but I do believe that he is close.
Much like with Freddy, I want to share with anyone who will listen of the hope found in Jesus, and the love that He offers. Just looking back on my life and all that the Lord has brought me through, I honestly wouldn’t be alive right now if it weren’t for Him stepping in and guiding me through the darkness. Instead of trying to convince you of this truth, dear friends and family, I encourage you to take a look back at your life. Look at what you have gone through, what are the things that the Lord has brought you through?
Anyway, I am praying for you all. I pray for those who do have a relationship with the Lord, that they will dare to dive deeper than ever before into His nature and His presence. Oh how we should study and get to know those that we love, and even more so the Lord who loves us even when we don’t deserve it. I also pray for those of you who do not know the Lord. That your hearts will one day be softened and your eyes opened to the glory that is God. Embrace His love, because it is so great, that He sacrificed EVERYTHING just to give you the opportunity to live and commune with Him.
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Sep 11, 2012
At a recent prayer meeting, Danny talked about how important it is to keep your camera lens clean. If it’s not cleaned regularly, then dirt, dust, and sometimes even fungus can get in the camera or lens and ruin any chance of taking a nice photo. This all is a representative of a bigger picture. We are supposed to keep our hearts, minds, and eyes clean so that we can clearly reflect God’s nature to those around us.
So often Christ is misrepresented by those who claim to be Believers, but lie, steal and destroy those around them. Clearly they are not “loving one another” as Christ commanded us to do. Now, I’m not writing this to judge them, or knock them down in any way. Because how often do we, ourselves misrepresent the Lord to those around us?
Maybe we are frustrated in traffic at the person who isn’t turning fast enough. Or the person in the grocery store took the last item off the shelf that you needed for dinner that night. Or maybe you are tired and exhausted, and get impatient with those around you. I know I struggle a lot with those simple things. But doesn’t God say in John 13:35 “by this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
A good test of this happened not too long ago for me. I had the privilege to travel up to Pennsylvania, with my best friend Katie, to spend a few days at Christmas with my amazing family. I was so excited, yet so nervous at the same time. I’m not sure why I was nervous, they’re my family and I love them dearly. But it had been a year since I had seen most of them, and I knew I had missed a lot. Would I be able to just fit in like normal? Would they notice any growth that the Lord had done in my life? Would I be able to love them like Christ loves them, and be a good representation of Christ to them?
As the days flew by, I could feel my energy draining. By the time I was boarding the plane with Katie, I had just come off a very busy week at work. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. I wasn’t sure I would have enough energy or enthusiasm left to give everyone attention when they came over. The only thing left for me to do was pray. Pray that the Lord would use me, despite my inability to give anything.
As I arrived, I felt like I was a visitor. I love my Mommy, my brother, and the rest of my family and friends. But I knew that I didn’t “belong” in PA anymore. No matter how much I may think about how things “might have turned out”, what I could be doing, who I might be hanging out with. It was like God confirmed to me, yet again, that He called me to Gospel for Asia, and that no matter how hard things may get, He will use me as I remain faithful to Him in Texas.
Time flew by as we moved from the open house on Friday, to Christmas Eve celebrations on Saturday, Christmas on Sunday, and then last minute things on Monday. Each day, God filled me with His Spirit, His patience and His love. It was like, even though I had nothing left to give, all God needed was a willing heart. A willing heart that allowed Him to clearly reflect His glorious, and awe-inspiring nature, to those who gathered around. I was able to play with my cousins, and not be frustrated with them, but enjoy every moment spent with them. To talk with relatives and boldly share what the Lord is doing in my life, and share possible plans for the future. To laugh and worship with friends, without being shy or nervous about who the Lord has transformed me into in the past year. To spend time with my mommy, brother, and Katie and not be worried or flustered with all the chaos of preparing for people to come over. And as silly as it seems, it was enjoyable to spend time playing with my mom’s dog Sawyer, and her new puppy Finn, even when Finn would try to escape in the yard.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, no matter how tired you may be, always keep your camera lens clean. Allow God to work through your life to those who might be around. Ask the Lord to make you a clear reflection of His magnificent glory.
Thanks for reading, I’m praying for each of you. God Bless!
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Sep 4, 2012
I often forget about God’s love for me. I know God’s love for me goes beyond the width and depths of the seas. He knows the hairs on my head, He understands me better than any person in the entire world does. I’ve seen His love displayed in my life, and His promises in the Word.
So, why do I struggle so much with really believing it? It’s because I simply forget!
Recently, I have been having a hard time understanding and accepting God’s love for me. My mind has been under spiritual attack. “No one really loves you, not even God.” It seemed that for half of my life I believed in these lies.
I was writing a prayer to the Lord in my journal this morning before heading to Gospel For Asia and I asked the Lord “Please show me your love today.”
As I went to prayer this morning, I saw a beautiful butterfly necklace on one of the staff members here at Gospel For Asia. I just marveled at it. I love butterflies so much! They are one of my favorite things I enjoy here on this earth. I Heidi, “I really love your necklace! It’s beautiful!” She thanked me and continued praying.
When morning prayer was finished I went to my desk, and she came up to me with tears welling in her eyes and said, “The Holy Spirit is prompting me to give you this necklace.” Immediately I remembered the prayer I had asked the Lord, “please show me your love today.” Then, I heard God’s voice LOUD. “Ani, I am showing you my love through giving you this gift. I desire to fulfill the desires of your heart. I LOVE YOU.” I had told Heidi that I have been struggling with accepting and believing God’s love for me, and how the Lord through her reminded me how much He loved me. We both cried and I felt extremely cared for and adored by the King of the Universe.
The Lord is showing me how often I forget that He LOVES me. He desires to give us the beautiful heavenly desires of our hearts. My desire was for God to show His love for me and He did. And guess what? After that I forgot the Lord’s love! I am constantly in need to remember His love daily. Every single day it is important we take time to remember He loves us. So, each day I ask the Lord to remind me He loves me and that’s exactly what He is does.
I do not want to die with these lies that He doesn’t love me. With God’s promises found in His word, I want to dance with them, run with them, and I want them to be tucked away in my heart. When we are feeling alone or unloved we need to check with God and see what He says about His love for us in the Word. I am blessed to be loved by the Living God. He loves us so much more than anyone else in the entire world.
“He who calls you is Faithful; He will surely do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24
Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies (Psalm 36:5).
How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 36:7).
The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3).
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Aug 28, 2012
Wow, it has already been 6 months as a student here at Gospel for Asia School of Discipleship! The Lord is teaching me so many things and He is also encouraging me! I think the biggest thing the Lord is encouraging me to do is to keep following, pursuing and seeking Him no matter how I feel. I think this is the absolute hardest thing for me to do because when I am emotional and don’t know why (and even when I do know why) I just want to hide and get away from everyone. Now if I chose to rely and act on what my emotions said, I would probably be back home. Making the decision to rely in faith on the Lord’s promises, is so hard for me, but once I do it I feel better because when I read His Word I truly trust what He says. There have been times however, when I read God’s Word and didn’t feel any different afterwards — this is where faith comes in.
Hebrews 11:1 says “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see” (NLT). This verse explains it perfectly. When my emotions decide to take over; immediately faith needs to step in. I have to have confidence that what I hope to happen (which would be that the feelings go away and ultimately that His perfect, good, pleasing will would be done so He may be glorified) and by hoping this will actually happen I can be so assured that it will happen. I know the Lord and He promises to answer the cries of His righteous ones, to deliver, and give them such perfect peace for those who choose to trust Him and keep their thoughts fixed on Him (Isa. 26:3). He also promises us that when we seek Him with all our hearts, we will find Him (Deut. 4:29) He is not going to hide Himself from us. He doesn’t desire us to stay on an emotional roller coaster for the rest of our lives! He came to give life and to give it more abundantly! (John. 10:10).
I find this so encouraging that the Lord showed me this because it really is so important to this Christian life. I mean think of one who is in the position of leadership. Don’t you think there are days when they just feel like giving up and not leading anymore? I mean those in leadership have so many different tasks to do, decisions to make and there not always easy decisions, and they most importantly have to shepherd their flock like Jesus calls them too. If they decided to just give up and stop leading because that’s what their feelings were telling them, I don’t think we would have any leaders in the world, and I know Gospel for Asia would not still be in existence.
The Lord has shown me I have to train my emotions. Whenever I feel them coming up and taking over I have to immediately go to the Lord and ask for faith. And all I need is faith as small as a mustard seed to move mountains. (Matthew 17:20) God has used so many people in my life, especially here at Gospel for Asia to remind me that my emotions and heart are very deceitful above all else (Jer. 17:9) and I need to put my faith in the Lord’s promises. The president of Gospel for Asia, K.P. Yohannan reminds us all of this very often. We need to be reminded because emotions are nothing we can hope in and make decisions based upon.
I think back in my life before School of Discipleship when I used to make so many decisions based on my emotions and every single time, it turned into a huge mess. I remember receiving a text, e-mail, or phone call from someone who made me so angry and instead of taking it to the Lord I decided to react and I ended up really hurting that person and caused them to view God not as a loving God but as an angry God because I called myself a Christian. I praise God that He has been so gracious to me and grown me very much in this area of my life! I also praise God for even bringing me here to School of Discipleship so that these areas in my life can be revealed.
I desire to live by faith and I am encouraged to do so by all the wonderful people here at Gospel for Asia. Each day they encourage me even when I fail to not give up and to keep running the race for Christ. Praise God 🙂
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Aug 14, 2012
http://youtu.be/ITHelpPcNW0
One student shares how she was called into ministry and the decisions she had to make as a young person to fulfill that calling on her life.
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